When Tim Dowling suggested "Death Comes for the Archbishop" at a book club meeting in his kitchen, he expected it to be a crowd-pleaser. Instead, the century-old novel split the group down the middle and gave his wife fresh grounds to ban him from ever choosing the book again.
Dowling is the only man in the club. His wife tells him before every meeting, "You're not allowed to pick because you're not really even in book club. You're like a mascot." He disagrees, calling himself "the beating heart of book club," but admits his suggestions have less weight than others'. A previous pick loathed by everyone, including him, had not helped.
A classic pick
With more than a year since the last attempt, Dowling felt ready to try again. He scanned the list of books he keeps on his phone and landed on a century-old classic recommended by his oldest son: "Death Comes for the Archbishop."
"What about a classic?" he asked. "Yeah, I'm ready for a classic," Nicola said. Emma was skeptical. "Trust me," Dowling said. "It's a banger." He explained it was about "an archbishop, who dies," but "really it's about everything." Sash sealed it: "Let's do it."
The backlash begins
Three weeks later, Dowling woke to find his wife staring at him over her Kindle. "I hate this book," she said. She complained about "stupid priests riding around on donkeys everywhere" and asked if it continued like that. "That's the premise, more or less," he admitted.
His middle son, who had also read the book, was equally unimpressed, saying "banger" was not the word he would choose. "It's quite slow, and not much happens," he said.
Club split
At the next meeting, at Emma's house, the divide became clear. "I hated the book," Dowling's wife said. "I loved the book!" Suzy countered. "I also hated it," Emma said. Suzy affectionately listed all the donkeys by name, prompting Dowling to admit he had forgotten their names.
The discussion grew animated, but when Fran asked Dowling to defend his choice, he couldn't. "I don't remember anything," he said, having read the book a year and a half ago. "You mean you didn't re-read it?" she asked. "Why would I?" he replied. "The whole point of being the chooser is so you get a freebie."
His wife took that as final proof. "You see?" she said. "This is why he's never allowed to pick the book."
