Daily Star agony aunt Jane O'Gorman is on hand every day to tackle readers' issues with straight-talking but sound advice, from bedroom confessions to self-confidence problems and drug use.
Readers seeking help can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Partner's secret visits next door
A reader says her partner keeps sneaking next door for sex with their neighbour, often leaving the house while she watches on security cameras. She begs him to give the neighbour up, but fears she has no power because she works long hours while he spends much of his time home alone.
She has heard the neighbour brags to mutual friends that he is an amazing lover who 'takes her to Heaven and back', yet he has never been much cop between the sheets with her.
Jane advises: "If you can't trust your man to stay faithful to you, then show him the door. If your neighbour is so alluring, then let her have him. They can romp to their hearts' content if that's what turns them on."
She adds the reader should start looking for a new place with someone who doesn't mess on their own doorstep, concluding: "It sounds like they deserve each other."
Gambling drains family business
Another reader describes how her partner hears of a card game, takes money from their business and goes out gambling, often staggering home looking dreadful and losing a lot. She has begged him to stop and says her nerves are in shreds, but she is too ashamed to tell friends and siblings. The business was a gift from her late parents.
Jane says the couple are partners in life and business, and he clearly believes he is entitled to grab their takings for gambling. She warns this selfish behaviour could bring the business down, and asks what about balancing the books, tax and wages.
Jane says he is in the grip of a terrible addiction but that doesn't give him the right to override his equal. She advises asking him to admit he needs help and to check out Gamblers Anonymous (www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk), which also has a section for family and friends. She concludes: "At some point you must start to put your own mental health and security first because, at the moment, you're carrying too much."
Sister accused of poisoning relationship
A third reader is convinced her partner's sister is trying to poison him against her, describing her as nasty, a spoilt brat and very entitled. The sister lives in the partner's house rent free and would have to leave if the couple move in together. At a party, the sister got drunk and slurred that the reader is 'a common gold digger'.
Jane advises the reader to be the bigger, more dignified adult and not rise to the bait: "The sweeter you are, the more unreasonable she'll appear."
She notes the sister feels under threat but everyone has to stand on their own two feet eventually, and doubts the partner plans to turn her out onto the streets. Jane urges the reader to hold her nerve and see how it plays out, and to actively avoid making an enemy of the woman because she is his flesh and blood.
