As a father who has seen both daughters fledge, Doug Kessler felt Zoe Williams’ pain and bafflement as her first son prepares to leave for university. In a letter to the Guardian, Kessler expressed sympathy with Williams’ experience, saying no one talks about it but, from the moment of birth, parenting is continuous grieving.
Parenting as Continuous Grieving
Kessler explained that parents mourn the loss of their one-year-old when they turn two. He noted that the fun of the early teen years are only partial compensation for never again watching a toddler invent walking. The move away from home, he said, is a big one. When it happened to his family, he was grateful for all the practice he had been gifted, but it still hit hard – bafflingly hard.
A Letter on Saucepans
Another letter came from Mark de Brunner of Burn Bridge, North Yorkshire, who offered sympathy to Zoe Williams but also a light-hearted observation. De Brunner noted that sending her son off with a nest of saucepans is common, as they all take saucepans. He added that there are always too many saucepans.
The letters were published in response to Williams’ article about her son leaving home for university, which appeared on 17 August. Readers were invited to email their letters for consideration for publication in the Guardian’s letters section.
