A mother has written to Coleen Nolan seeking advice after feeling bereft since her children left home. Her daughter has gone travelling before starting a new job in another part of the country, and her son has moved in with his partner a few miles away. The house feels too empty, and she feels redundant after giving up work years ago to focus on the kids. Her husband works nine-to-five, so she spends her days alone.
She misses cooking meals, giving lifts, and being part of their daily lives. Although her son and girlfriend visit, it is not the same. She feels everyone has moved on without her. Many of her friends are still busy with their families, and she realizes she put her life on the back burner to raise the kids. Now her days feel empty, and she is unsure what to fill them with.
Coleen's advice
Coleen begins by congratulating her for raising strong, confident, and independent children. She views this as the perfect time to discover what she wants to fill her life with, emphasizing that possibilities are endless. It is an opportunity to reclaim herself and build something new. While it is hard when kids fly the nest, Coleen admits she has struggled too when her children needed her less.
However, they will always need her and will come back. She has engagements, weddings, and grandchildren to look forward to. Coleen believes finding confidence is key, and she must be brave about trying new things. Being open to new experiences and friendship groups that do not involve the family is important.
Suggestions for moving forward
- Take up a hobby she has always wanted to try.
- Learn something new.
- Consider volunteering or returning to work.
- Use the time to explore options and find what excites her.
- Let her kids know she wants to see them more by arranging visits or inviting them over.
Coleen reminds her that young people get wrapped up in their own lives and may not think about how she feels. Communication is essential.
