Party planner Fran Cutler revealed on the Second Act with Ateh Jewel podcast that she keeps a physical list of people she has issues with. She said: "I write it down at night when I'm bored. I don't talk about them; I just keep it on a list and I think, I've got you and I know exactly who you are."
The Case for Grudges
Polly Hudson, a freelance writer and self-described grudge-holder, argues that holding grudges is a misunderstood virtue. "Holding a grudge isn't easy, or for the faint of heart. It proves you have dedication, determination, principles," she writes. "This isn't about exacting revenge or ill-wishing – it's taking a stand and sticking to it come what may, regardless of the sacrifices involved."
Personal Boycotts
Hudson shares examples of her own grudges. She boycotts three local shops—a Londis, newsagent, and dry-cleaner—due to disputes over yoghurt, a card policy, and her husband's trousers. "I waste time and energy patronising businesses much further away. So far, they seem to be surviving despite the massive loss of upwards of £12 a year," she notes.
She also refused to watch the TV show DTF St Louis because it starred David Harbour, out of loyalty to Lily Allen, a stranger. Another grudge involves a bakery where she was belittled for arriving too late for cruffins. "I will now die of hunger on that shop's doorstep rather than set foot inside it again," she says, adding that the shop has since moved to larger premises due to demand.
The Grudge-Holder's Philosophy
Unlike Cutler, Hudson keeps her list in her head. She believes grudges serve a purpose: "You can't let people who have wronged you get away with it, or they will never learn to treat others better. Even if they appear not to be aware of your boycott, they probably must be on some level, surely."
Hudson concludes that grudges make the world "a less unjust, more respectful, baked-goods-inclusive place. We're stubbornly, quietly, making life better for everybody, one vendetta at a time."
