A woman has expressed deep anxiety about her husband returning home full-time after nearly a year of working away, fearing it will disrupt the routine she has built with their children. Writing to agony aunt Coleen Nolan, she admitted she is 'not sure I want him home full-time' and feels a 'dread' about the change.
The Dilemma: A Year of Independence
The husband's job opportunity, which involved him being away for long periods, was financially beneficial for the family. He returned only on occasional weekends, allowing the wife to manage the household and childcare alone. Over time, she adapted and began to enjoy the autonomy, running things her own way. Now that his contract is ending and he plans to look for work locally, she is struggling with the prospect of losing that independence.
She wrote: 'I’ve got so used to it being just me and the kids and we’ve got into a routine, and I’ve actually enjoyed running things how I want to run them. I’m not sure how easy it’s going to be to get used to us all being together again.' She confessed that these feelings worry her because they 'don’t reflect well on the state of our marriage,' though she insists she loves him and he is a good father.
Coleen's Advice: Acknowledge and Communicate
Coleen Nolan responded by reassuring the woman that her feelings are normal and not necessarily a sign of a failing marriage. She noted that the upcoming change is a 'big change to adapt to' and that the husband may also be anxious about slotting back into family life after having 'a lot of freedom.'
'Rather than ignore it, tell him what’s on your mind and ask how he’s feeling about the move back,' Coleen advised. 'I think you’ll feel relieved if you simply acknowledge your fears and that it might take a bit of time to get used to living together again.'
She encouraged the reader to 'try not to panic and see how it goes,' adding that things might quickly return to how they were and feel 'lovely' for the family to be together once more. Coleen also warned against blowing minor irritations out of proportion, suggesting they keep talking and give each other space when needed.
