A divorced single mum has told of her heartbreak after her 16-year-old son decided to live with his dad, despite her raising him almost entirely on her own since the couple split when he was five.
Writing to advice columnist Coleen Nolan, the mother explained that her ex was always around but "very much on the edges", while she handled every school run, packed every lunch and made every dinner. Her ex would occasionally appear with football tickets or a holiday offer.
She says she is not criticising her ex and is glad they have a good relationship, but it "stings" that her son now wants to live with him. The boy says he has more in common with his dad now he is older.
Empty nest before expected
Her son is her only child, while her ex has two younger children with his wife, so she is facing an empty nest earlier than expected. The teenager still stays at weekends but is out with friends so much that she hardly sees him.
"It really feels as if I'm losing him," she wrote.
Advice: don't make him feel guilty
In her response, Coleen said the decision does not take away from the job the mother has done raising him. She advised telling him she misses him but trying not to make him feel guilty for moving out.
She recalled her own son Shane telling her he wanted to move back south to live with his dad, which felt "like a knife in my gut". He lasted three weeks and came back. She suggested the son might soon decide he does not want to share a house with noisy younger siblings.
Her other son Jake went to theatre school in London at 14, and she only saw him at weekends. She said she has remained close to both sons partly because she let them try things without pressure.
She advised keeping conversations going with the ex so everyone is on the same page, but giving the son space to figure things out.
