Australia's top dating authority Louanne Ward has delivered a blunt caution to single men, exposing a common texting behaviour that's unintentionally sabotaging their romantic prospects.
The Texting Trap That Kills Romance
The Perth-based matchmaker, known for her straightforward relationship guidance shared across digital platforms, warns that this single habit can extinguish a woman's interest immediately, even following successful initial dates.
According to Louanne, the trouble typically emerges just when things appear to be progressing positively. "You experienced chemistry during the first date," she observes, "then you began messaging her as if she'd already become your girlfriend."
She clarifies that the issue arises when men transition into boyfriend behaviour prematurely through morning salutations, continuous updates and relentless check-in messages.
Why Daily Messages Become a Major Turn-Off
She identifies the common pattern with communications like 'Good morning beautiful', 'How's your day progressing?', 'What are your evening plans?' alongside regular travel and weather reports as significant attraction killers.
While men frequently consider this demonstrates affection and reliability, the impact, she reveals, proves completely opposite. Rather than feeling complimented, Louanne states numerous women sense the initial spark diminishing because of the "ordinary reality of being in an established relationship" with their potential partner.
What ensues isn't anticipation but monotony, as women don't seek minute-by-minute accounts of a man's daily routine. "Women desire 'opportunity to wonder about you' and 'opportunity to miss you between meetings'," she elaborates, noting that "the romance originates from not yet knowing everything about someone."
When a man overwhelms that space with persistent contact, she explains they accidentally substitute the thrill of early dating with the predictability of long-term patterns.
The Science Behind Instant Attraction Decisions
For men, this degree of communication and sharing daily patterns feels reassuring and authentic, but Louanne emphasises that what seems like connection for him, frequently feels more like obligation for her.
Louanne also pointed out that this communication style can prove especially triggering or unappealing for women who've previously experienced long-term relationships or marriages. Women who've undergone divorce, she clarified, have already dedicated years managing daily domestic routines. So when a man they've met only a handful of times starts behaving like a dedicated partner, the consequence becomes an immediate emotional withdrawal.
"When you text as if you're five years into a relationship, you deprive her of the complete early romance. You reveal the dull conclusion before she's completed enjoying the thrilling introduction," she stated. "Premature familiarity doesn't feel comfortable, it feels suffocating."
For men considering their next steps after receiving her direct feedback, the solution proves straightforward – establish distance. "Allow her to wonder and permit the attraction to develop naturally. Because attraction requires space to flourish."
Anyone who's experimented with contemporary dating understands women aren't readily impressed – and scientific evidence supports this, indicating they require merely seven seconds to evaluate whether a man deserves their attention.
Thin slicing, a principle rooted in neuroscience, clarifies how a woman can assess a man's dating potential within moments, with her brain reaching conclusions almost immediately. "Her brain searches for very particular qualities: leadership, safety, confidence, and emotional stability," she revealed.
These four attributes, apparently, become ingrained in the female brain as crucial indicators for long-term compatibility, particularly regarding evolutionary biology and reproduction.
Within the dating scene, Louanne mentioned this manifests the instant a man enters a room or presents himself. "She detects your non-verbal signals." This encompasses your stance, your motion, your facial reactions, your speed, your vocal tone, even your fashion sense.
Even something as basic as stating your name can prompt an immediate reaction. "The pitch, tone and weight of your voice processes as a signal," she elaborated. Women naturally evaluate whether a man's voice sounds calm or nervous, definite or hesitant, and grounded or responsive.
According to the 'science' Louanne references, these subtle aspects trigger emotional reactions in a woman's system where she might experience attraction, interest, apathy, or a silent, firm rejection. Unfortunately for men, once her brain has determined, there's usually no reversing the decision.
