I Write Sex Scenes For A Living - And It's Not As Steamy As You'd Think
I write sex scenes for living - the surprising truth

Ever wondered what it's really like to write those steamy sex scenes that keep viewers glued to their screens? The reality might surprise you - it involves more technical precision than passionate inspiration.

The Unromantic Truth Behind On-Screen Intimacy

As a professional intimacy coordinator, my job involves crafting believable romantic encounters for television and film. While many imagine this role involves channeling raw passion, the truth is far more clinical. Each movement, each touch, each moment of intimacy is carefully choreographed and documented like a complex dance routine.

Awkward Moments and Technical Challenges

The reality of creating sex scenes involves navigating numerous practical hurdles:

  • Modesty garments and positioning: Actors wear specially designed coverings, and every intimate contact is carefully blocked to maintain professionalism
  • Communication is key: Every participant must consent to each touch and movement, with clear boundaries established beforehand
  • The temperature factor: Cold sets can make simulated passion particularly challenging when actors are shivering between takes
  • Multiple crew members: Dozens of people watching and adjusting lighting, sound, and camera angles during intimate moments

From Page to Screen: The Transformation Process

What begins as a few lines in a script transforms through multiple stages before reaching viewers. The writer's initial description undergoes careful interpretation by directors, intimacy coordinators, and actors to create scenes that serve the story while respecting everyone involved.

"The most successful intimate scenes aren't about gratuitous content," explains one industry professional. "They're about advancing character development and narrative in a way that feels authentic to the story."

Changing Industry Standards

The entertainment world has undergone significant transformation in how intimate content is handled. Following movements like #MeToo, the role of intimacy coordinators has become increasingly standardised, bringing much-needed professionalism and safety protocols to scenes that were previously navigated without clear guidelines.

This shift means actors now have advocates on set specifically trained to handle the unique challenges of intimate content, ensuring that what appears spontaneous on screen is actually the product of careful planning and mutual respect.