A mother of two has confessed to enjoying her partner's month-long work trip, feeling a sense of ownership over her life and routines without his messy, chaotic presence. She describes their relationship as having 'fluctuated' between contentment and hardship, and admits she hasn't felt in love with him for a long time.
During his absence, she has found the home tidy and has received support from family and friends to manage childcare and work. Friends have remarked on how relaxed and happy she seems, and her children have also appeared content. Her elder son, who often argues with his father, says he doesn't miss him but looks forward to seeing him again.
The woman says her partner claims the children and she are everything to him, but she cannot reciprocate. She does not necessarily want to split up or meet someone else, fearing it would destroy her partner and harm the children. However, her personal fulfilment comes from her children, friends, and work rather than the relationship.
Psychotherapist Mo Perkins suggests that enjoying time apart is a sign of maturity, not a problem. She advises the woman to consider her partner's strengths and to carve out time as a couple with the help of family and friends. Perkins also notes that 'fairly calm happiness' can be a form of love, and that the woman may be experiencing a natural period of self-reflection given her children's ages.
The advice column concludes by acknowledging the difficulty of 're-entry' after solo parenting and recommends small changes and open communication. It also suggests individual counselling to help the woman clarify her desires.
