When I was a child, I told friends that if I ever met my dad I would shoot him. It was an empty threat, but it revealed a deep anger. My mother had left him before I was two because he was a violent alcoholic. He then disappeared to avoid paying child support. Fourteen years later, he was summoned to court over the thousands owed, and I insisted on going with my mother.
Before that day, my life was heading down a troubled path. I had been suspended from school, and fighting, drugs and crime were becoming part of my world. One friend even tried to kill me. I now realise that some of my behaviour stemmed from unresolved anger towards a man who had never been there but still cast a shadow over my life.
In the courtroom, my dad shuffled in with his mother, eyes on the floor. He looked shrunken and pathetic. He claimed he was penniless, citing a long prison sentence as a reason for not paying. He never looked at me or acknowledged me. My mother waived the money owed, asking only that he contribute to my future education. I thought she was mad, but now I see it as a powerful act of defiance.
After that day, the anger inside me faded. I felt grateful that I had not ended up like him. With the help of an inspirational English teacher, I turned my life around. I went to university, read, wrote and immersed myself in culture. That moment in court changed everything.
