A woman from Surrey has spoken of the 'horrific' abuse she suffered at the hands of her mother, revealing that the ABBA song 'Fernando' became a chilling warning that she was about to be beaten.
Pixie-Rae Price, 40, from Hersham, says she was subjected to physical and emotional abuse from the age of one by her mother, Laura Price, who died by suicide in 2017. To outsiders, her mother appeared to be the 'most loving mother', but behind closed doors life was 'horrific'.
Abuse and the Warning Song
Pixie claims she was slapped, strangled and thrown down the stairs by her mother, who she says was a heavy drinker. She knew a beating was imminent when she heard 'Fernando' playing on the speakers in the living room.
She said: "My mum had me at 15. To other people, she came across as the most wonderful, loving mother. On the outside, I was spoilt; I had dance lessons, gymnastics, horses. On the outside looking in, our life was good."
'I Can't Listen to ABBA Now'
Pixie, a former dance teacher, added: "But behind closed doors, it was horrific; she was an alcoholic and would smoke a lot of weed - and beat me often. When ABBA's Fernando started playing, I knew something was about to go down. When I heard the footsteps coming upstairs, I knew I was about to get beaten. I can't listen to ABBA now; I am traumatised."
Pixie found a doctor's note from when she was one year old that read "victim of physical abuse. From mother, placed on CPR". She said her mother struggled with her mental health and turned to drink and drugs to cope, which led to a cycle of abuse.
Emotional Abuse and Coping
Pixie also alleges there was significant emotional abuse. She said: "There was a lot of emotional abuse as well as physical. Everything was always my fault; I was told I was selfish. My mum called me fat and ugly, as well as a dipstick, dork and moron. I was very young and blocked a lot of the emotional abuse out until I started therapy - that brought back a lot of memories."
At 14, Pixie started drinking to cope and developed an eating disorder, for which she was treated in hospital. She moved out of her mother's home at 15 and later cut off contact completely.
Forgiveness and Recovery
After five years of no contact, Pixie's sister called in October 2017 to say their mother had died by suicide. Pixie described the experience as 'conflicting', as she was mourning her abuser, and now regrets grieving as much as she did.
She said: "The whole experience was a head f--- - it was very conflicting. It has only been in the past couple of years, as I got sober, that I am annoyed that I grieved her. My abuser was dead; I look back and wonder why I was grieving so much. I am not glad she died; nobody deserves to die by suicide. It was a sad moment in my life - I have learned to forgive my mum."
