A reader has told of her stressful situation with a work colleague who borrowed £500 and has not repaid any of it. The two women became friendly after sitting near each other, having lunch together and the occasional drink after work.
One day the colleague asked for a coffee as she needed someone to talk to. She explained she could not make her car payment that month and had been struggling since her husband left her. She is also a mother of three children, two of whom have ADHD and autism. Feeling sorry for her, the reader agreed to lend her £500, with the colleague promising to pay it back as soon as she got paid.
Avoiding the issue
A couple of months passed with no repayment, and the situation became awkward. The reader eventually asked about it, hoping the payment had been made and whether there was a date in mind for repayment. The colleague claimed she could not pay it back in one go and would give £50 a month over 10 months, but has barely said a word since, even though they sit six feet apart. The reader has still not received a penny and wishes she had never got involved.
Coleen's advice
Coleen advises learning from the experience and accepting that the money might not be returned, or at least not all of it. The colleague is probably avoiding the reader because she simply does not have the money to give.
Coleen points out that the reader has every right to ask for the money and to say she is disappointed that she has had to bring it up, noting that it has made things awkward at work because the colleague is no longer speaking to her.
A similar experience
Coleen shared that she lost a friend years ago over a similar situation when she was very young. That woman had a child and no partner, and would always say she had no money when invited out, so Coleen would offer to pay. Eventually, the woman started making arrangements to go out, but would turn up every time with no money and expect Coleen to pay. Another friend warned Coleen that she was being taken advantage of, and the friendship ended.
Coleen says it is an awful situation and the reader may feel betrayed and a bit gullible, but she will not make the same mistake again. She suggests tackling it with maturity, being direct and honest, and explaining that they need to find a way to resolve it, otherwise it will be difficult to work together.
