Asking friends to repay small sums under $15 damages trust and generosity, argues Johanna Cosgrove, who says reciprocity matters more than financial nitpicking.
Johanna Cosgrove, an award-winning actor, writer and comedian, has declared that friends should never request repayment for anything under $15. She was horrified when a colleague asked her to transfer $12.50 after a green juice catch-up. Cosgrove believes that if someone buys you something under $15, you should do the same for them next time, calling this trust and reciprocity.
The $15 rule and its global value
For context, A$15 is roughly US$10, £8, €9, NZ$19 and 1,680 yen. In the current global economy, that amount doesn't stretch much further than a small beverage, snack, or meal deal. Cosgrove notes that $20 is a note, potentially a meal, and a substantial sum, so asking for that back is acceptable. Anything under that, she argues, should not be requested.
Cosgrove reflects on her family's tradition of fighting over restaurant bills, viewing providing for loved ones as a sign of respect and humility. She mentions that in Australia, PayID is used for transfers, while in New Zealand, her country of birth, only bank transfer is available, making repayment clunky and time-consuming.
Cultural differences in financial fairness
Cosgrove acknowledges cultural contexts where recounting every penny is socially encouraged. Her grandmother grew up in the Netherlands, where the word for debt, Schuld, also means guilt or fault. Young people in the Netherlands use Tikkie, an app similar to Splitwise, to request repayment for tiny amounts, rooted in a cultural mindset of equality. However, Cosgrove rejects this approach for herself.
She advises that if you can't afford to offer, you shouldn't offer at all, suggesting drinking whatever you have at home instead. Cosgrove observes that it's never her friends who earn the least who ask to be paid back. She cites US comedian Robby Hoffman, who said in a New York Times interview, "the poor have much less but when you go to their house it's like 'Take! Take! Take! You want a coke?'"
Generosity as a skill
Cosgrove argues that those who grew up wealthy may have a different relationship with generosity, as they haven't experienced lack. She notes that $15 is a drop in the ocean for anyone earning over $150,000 a year. Her personal threshold of $15 is based on vibes, not market research.
Ultimately, Cosgrove concludes that in the current late stage of capitalism, we can't afford to nitpick at the cost of love and care. She encourages readers to go forth, shout friends a treat if they can, and remember that it always pays to be generous.
