A woman in her 20s has confessed to developing feelings for her male best friend after a recent kiss felt different from previous ones, leaving her confused about whether to pursue a relationship or protect their friendship.
Friends since childhood
The pair have been friends since secondary school, though they first met at age eight and initially disliked each other. He would hide her belongings and tease her, while she regularly got him into trouble with teachers. As teenagers, they connected deeply and have remained close ever since.
He supported her through a difficult breakup and was there when her father died. She admits she has always had a small crush on him, describing him as cool, popular, and very good-looking. They have kissed a few times over the years after drinking, but have never had sex, and neither has attempted to take things further.
A kiss that changed everything
Recently, while out together, they kissed again, but this time it felt different—hot and sexy. He paid her many lovely compliments, and now she feels confused about what it means.
She lacks the confidence to act on her feelings, feeling like the nerdy schoolgirl again while he remains the popular kid. She also worries that if a relationship failed, their friendship would be over.
Advice from Coleen
Coleen suggests that the woman may be holding on to childhood roles and that the friendship needs to reflect where they both are now. If another kiss happens, she advises stopping and asking, “What’s going on here? We’re not kids any more.”
Coleen warns that without care, the situation could drift into a “friends with benefits” arrangement, which might suit him but may not be what she wants. She recommends having a straightforward conversation about their feelings and where the friendship is heading, questioning whether the last kiss was just a continuation of past behavior or something more.
If a romantic relationship failed, it could affect the friendship, so that is something they must discuss and consider. Coleen also suggests reflecting on whether this crush is keeping her stuck in the past instead of moving on and dating others.
