A woman in her 30s has been dating a man for nearly a year, and the relationship is getting serious. She has met his parents a couple of times, but his attitude towards his mum has left her troubled.
He is impatient with her, calls her by her first name instead of Mum (while calling his dad Dad), and is quite rude and curt when she asks him questions. The first time they were all together, it felt as if he really didn't like her, so she asked him afterwards if they had a difficult relationship.
His words were: “I don’t want to get into it right now, but she’s a tricky person”. She actually seemed very nice and couldn’t have been lovelier to the reader.
Worried About the Future
The reader says she can't stop thinking about it and it's really bugging her. She wonders if his behaviour is a massive red flag and asks: “Is this a sign to run a mile or am I making too much of it?”
She is falling in love with him, but she respects him a bit less since seeing him with his mother. She also wonders how he will treat her in years to come if they are still together.
Coleen's Advice: Don't Jump to Conclusions
Coleen advises putting the brakes on, saying running a mile before knowing the story is a bit dramatic and unfair. She points out that his mum being polite and lovely to the reader doesn't mean she hasn't done or said things that have caused problems in her relationship with her son.
Maybe the partner isn't ready to talk about what's gone on between them, but Coleen suggests finding out when he is ready instead of making up her mind without any facts.
Communication Is Key
Coleen says the partner may have been nervous or on edge when meeting his parents, and perhaps he has good reason for that. His mum might not have been nice to a previous girlfriend or caused problems in a past relationship, or it could be something just between the two of them. She adds that the reader might get to know her better in the coming months and start to see his point of view.
Communication is so important in a relationship, so if he doesn’t open up about how he feels and can’t talk to her about things, that’s the red flag for Coleen going forward.
