In a recent advice column, Daily Star agony aunt Jane O'Gorman addresses four distinct relationship dilemmas submitted by readers, offering her trademark straight-talking guidance.
Boyfriend's Mother a 'Diva' and 'Nightmare'
One reader describes her boyfriend's mother as a 'diva' and 'show-off' whose ego is 'off the scale.' The mother reportedly ruined her daughter's wedding by kissing the best man and gave a nasty speech at her own father's funeral. Her last relationship ended when her partner fled overnight. Now single, she insists on joining the reader and her boyfriend at clubs and bars, getting drunk and behaving inappropriately by dancing wildly, groping men and women. Recently, she crashed a friend's dinner party, drank two bottles of wine, and propositioned a guest's neighbor. The boyfriend called her a 'disgrace' and forced her into a taxi, but he is careful because she has money and they rely on it. The reader fears the mother may insist on joining their planned trip to Thailand, Australia, and New Zealand.
Jane O'Gorman responds: 'Your boyfriend is in a difficult position. Even though his mother is annoying and embarrassing, he still loves her because she’s family. On top of that, he relies on her for cash. He can’t openly tell her to “clear off” because he’s under her thumb.' She advises the reader to insist her boyfriend stand up to his mother and establish boundaries, warning that the idea of the mother joining their world trip 'must be nipped in the bud right now.'
Brother's Girlfriend with 'Shady Past'
Another reader complains about her brother's girlfriend, described as an 'ex-stripper with a shady past,' argumentative and aggressive. The couple arrives drunk at the parents' house, and at a family barbecue, the girlfriend tickled an uncle, insulted an aunt, and danced wildly near a paddling pool. The reader feels sorry for her parents, who feel obliged to welcome her.
Jane advises: 'This is something that your parents must speak to your brother about. Of course, he’s entitled to date anyone he likes, but bringing a disruptive individual into their home is not on.' She encourages the reader to speak to her parents and urge them to set boundaries, noting that if the brother enjoys causing outrage, he may end up a 'sad loser' if the girlfriend ruins his life.
Husband Wants to Sell Home for Stepchildren's Deposits
A third reader reveals she has never met her husband's adult children from his first marriage, who dislike her despite the parents' divorce years ago. The husband wants to sell their house to give deposits for flats to his children. The reader objects, believing his wealthy ex-wife should provide the funds, but he refuses to 'make waves.' She loves her home and has invested money in it.
Jane O'Gorman states: 'A civilised conversation must be the way forward. You’ve got to keep talking to your husband about your marriage and your limits.' She advises the reader to make clear she will not move, and if the stand is a 'marriage breaker,' further discussion is needed. She criticizes the husband for allowing others to 'walk all over him.'
Great Sex but Awkward Everyday Life
Finally, a male reader reports that he and his girlfriend have wild sex but struggle to converse outside the bedroom. She has no opinions, and he fears telling her he loves her in case it 'freaks her out.'
Jane describes this as 'a very immature relationship' and advises the reader to take the lead and be open and honest. If she does not respond well, 'she’s clearly not the long-term partner for you.'
