Manchester-based businessman James Dooley, who describes himself as an 'investopreneur and digital landlord', has revealed the surprising rules he and his wife Kerri follow to make their marriage work. The couple, who met 16 years ago, have three children under five.
James firmly believes the old adage 'behind every successful man, there's a woman', but adds: 'Not just standing behind him, but beside him, pushing him, believing in him to achieve success for the family.'
No daytime communication
During working hours, the couple leave one another alone. 'We never speak in the day because every distraction can take 23 minutes to get back into flow state again,' explains James. 'When I'm working, I am seriously focused, and I don't want distractions unless it is something serious.'
The boundary is about protecting dedicated time for work before switching attention back to family. He also protects the hours between 3pm and 7pm for his children, and his staff know he is unavailable. 'In the blink of an eye, the kids will be teenagers and want to do their own things. Having a work-life balance is very important for me.'
No gifts, but time and memories
Despite his success, James says he does not shower Kerri with designer handbags, jewellery or expensive birthday gifts. 'I actually never buy her gifts,' he says. 'Time and memories mean more than anything you can wrap. I will always prioritise time and memories over material gifts.'
James wants his family to remain grounded. 'We enjoy nice holidays, and apart from that [has] changed zero. I try to keep money and wealth out of conversations. I don't want any fast cars or expensive products.'
That does not mean the family never splashes out. They own a holiday home in Wales, a jet ski, and racehorses. 'We own some racehorses, and that is one sport and event that all the family can attend, dress up nicely, experience great race-day vibes, and it brings us together.'
Midnight inspiration and grounded kids
'Entrepreneurs struggle to slow down and see opportunity in everything,' says James. That can mean waking in the middle of the night when inspiration strikes. 'There are times I can wake up at 1am with new crazy business ideas that I need to get out of my head. The wife understands it's better I get up and go into the garden office because otherwise I'll be restless and not sleep. She understands me better than I do myself, and she knows when I need to get things out of my head.'
'Parenting is 10 times harder than I ever imagined. I have utmost respect for mums who bring up kids. It's the hardest job in the world. My career is super easy compared to parenting.' While he could give his children a privileged upbringing, he says: 'I do not want to raise spoilt brats. They need to understand how lucky they are and have to work hard for their own success. They will get guidance, and I'll try to open doors for them, but they need to earn their own stripes.'
James says the things he values most cannot be measured in money. 'Success is having a roof over our heads. Clean water easily flowing out of our cold tap. Three healthy kids. A beautiful wife who supports me in whatever direction I think is best to take.'
