A new survey has pinpointed the exact moment when being late stops being mildly annoying and becomes outright rude. According to the research, Brits draw the line at 29 minutes.
While most people consider turning up 15 minutes late acceptable, edging towards the half-hour mark crosses the line into rudeness. The survey of 2,000 adults found that 26% say showing up 60 minutes late is completely out of order.
The most common excuses and tactics
The go-to fib for those running late is “I’m five minutes away”, a lie 26% of people regularly tell. The research, commissioned by SVEDKA Vodka, also found that 32% of Brits handle late friends by telling them an event starts earlier than it actually does.
What the etiquette experts say
Etiquette expert Laura Windsor says being late is fine up to a point. She notes that “the ideal time to arrive to an event is between five and 15 minutes late”, suggesting the 29-minute rule is quite generous. “You don’t want to appear early because the hostess may be doing last-minute preparations or getting ready. But after an hour, don’t even bother turning up.”
Rupert Wesson of Debrett’s Etiquette Training argues that acceptable lateness depends on the occasion. “In a professional context, we would suggest that if you think you are four minutes early, you are in fact one minute late. In a social setting, things are not quite so rigid. Being a few minutes late and apologising is not rude. Sometimes problems just crop up. We are often let down by the transport system, so if you are going to be late, send a message.”
He adds: “Or if, when you are planning a time with friends, and you think that the timings are tight, be sure to manage people’s expectations and let them know. But not setting off until you know you will be late is self-deluding, dysfunctional and discourteous.”
Other unacceptable social habits
Beyond poor punctuality, other habits are also frowned upon. Checking your phone during a conversation is considered bad etiquette by 38% of people, while 26% object to an unannounced plus-one on a group night out.
Laura Windsor had strong views on the latter: “It is absolutely not acceptable to bring a plus-one unless you have been invited to do so.” Using a dinner party as an example, she explains: “Your host will have carefully planned the quantities of food, the seating arrangements and the table setting. Add an unexpected guest to the mix and you risk upsetting that delicate balance. There may not even be enough room at the table, meaning the carefully arranged place settings have to be disrupted.”
