New figures from Cancer Research UK indicate that cancer cases have reached a record high in the UK, with approximately one person diagnosed every 80 seconds. The incidence rate has risen to 620 per 100,000 people over the past decade, up from 610, while early-stage diagnosis rates have barely changed, moving from 54% to 55%. More than 403,000 people are diagnosed annually, driven largely by an aging and growing population.
For parents facing a cancer diagnosis, breaking the news to children can be incredibly challenging. Robin Muir, clinical psychologist and centre head at Maggie's Manchester, offers practical advice on navigating this sensitive topic.
Think About Timing
Muir recommends choosing a time when your child has more energy and capacity for an emotional conversation. For instance, picking them up early from school may give them time to process the information, rather than telling them right before bed when they are tired and may struggle to absorb the news.
Be Honest
Honesty is crucial to maintaining trust with your child. "If we're not honest with children, there's a risk to that trust, which might make them question information we give them later," Muir explains. Children are often more perceptive than adults realize and may pick up on cues earlier than expected.
Use Age-Appropriate Language
Consider the language your child already uses. For younger children, words like "poorly" or "sick" may be suitable. Older children may already be familiar with the term "cancer," so you can draw on their prior experiences and media exposure. Muir encourages parents not to avoid the word "cancer" with young children, as naming it can reduce fear and provide a learning opportunity.
Lean on Resources
There are numerous online resources, books, and charities that can help facilitate conversations. Nurses within the NHS are also well-positioned to offer guidance on how to talk to children about cancer.
Don't Rush It
Take time to prepare what information you want to share. Rushing may lead to overwhelming your child with too much information, making the situation stressful for both of you.
Remember It's an Ongoing Conversation
This is not a single conversation but a series of discussions over time. The first conversation should open the door and provide key information, while leaving space for future talks.
Everyone Reacts Differently
Let your child know that it is okay to have emotional responses, such as sadness or anger. Reassure them that feeling a range of emotions is healthy.
Open the Door for Questions
Encourage your child to ask questions, whether verbally, in writing, or in a neutral setting like a Maggie's centre. Find what works best for your family.
It Doesn't Have to Be Perfect
Parents don't need to be perfect. It's okay to make mistakes and learn together what feels comfortable for your child in terms of language and approach.
For 30 years, Maggie's has provided free emotional, practical, and psychological support for people with cancer and their families. Visit maggies.org for more information.
