Author Jordan Rose has always believed in fairytales, but her own story, while deeply romantic, does not follow the traditional ending. The 32-year-old is engaged to Chris, 35, following a proposal that could have come straight from the pages of a novel: a fake charity ball, a white dress, a winter sunset, candles, flowers and a decorated swing in her parents' meadow. Yet when the couple marry in May 2027, Jordan will not be moving into Chris's home in Crystal Palace, south-east London, and he will not be moving into hers in Kent. The couple do not want to live together, ever. Here, Jordan reveals exactly why the set-up is perfect for her.
Choosing Separate Homes
Jordan explains that she is deeply in love with Chris and eagerly anticipates their wedding next spring. However, after the vows, she will return to her home in Kent, and Chris will go back to his in Crystal Palace. She does not want to live with him now, nor after marriage. She emphasises that they are not separating, unsure, or less committed. In fact, she believes living apart is one of the reasons their relationship works so well. She owns her house, Chris owns his, and the 50-minute drive between them gives them the best of both worlds. They see each other weekly, usually at weekends, though plans vary. They stay connected through texts, calls, and voice notes, but after a few days together, they return to their own homes, a routine they love.
A Fairytale Beginning
Chris and Jordan first met around ten years ago at university, where they were both in a show choir. It was a romantic moment at a fancy dress social: Jordan dressed as Rapunzel, Chris as Robin Hood. Although there was a spark, both were in relationships at the time. About four years ago, Chris messaged her on Instagram, expressing his interest. From their first date, Jordan felt a sense of peace she had never experienced before. With previous partners, she lived together but realised she does not enjoy cohabiting. She values her independence and alone time to reset. Despite others suggesting that living together with the right person would feel different, Jordan knows herself well enough to admit that even with Chris, constant cohabitation in a small space is not for her. Her house has two bedrooms, one used as a wardrobe, and Chris's London home is limited in space. Chris feels the same way.
Breaking Social Norms
The conversation about living apart came early in their relationship. They both had negative experiences living with partners before and asked themselves why they should live together. Jordan points out that couples typically move in for social expectation, finances, or children. Since they do not want children and are financially independent, they saw no reason to merge households. Jordan believes marriage does not automatically require merging every practical aspect of life. For them, marriage is a vow of love and commitment, not a shared bathroom or daily routine. Chris often says, 'We are big fans of what works. And this works.'
The Proposal
Chris's proposal was the most romantic moment of Jordan's life. He orchestrated a fake army charity ball, complete with a fake invitation. On the day, Jordan dressed in white for what she thought was a white-tie event. But when she came downstairs, her mother had placed her shoes by the back door, hinting at something unusual. Chris led her to the meadow behind her parents' house, where a camera, a swing decorated with flowers, candles, a fire pit, and a sofa covered in blankets awaited. Jordan laughed for ten minutes, overwhelmed. Chris gave a speech, which she barely heard, but he recorded it so she could relive the moment. She said yes, and there was no discussion about moving in together; it was understood that nothing would change.
Reactions and Practicalities
Some friends and family ask where they will live after the wedding. Jordan tells them they are staying as they are. Reactions vary: some people understand, especially those who enjoy time alone when their partners are away. Others find it weird, questioning why they would marry if not to live together. Jordan is confident in their love and does not see the need to prove it by sharing a bathroom. Practically, married life will resemble their current life. They keep belongings at each other's homes and pack bags for visits. Jordan enjoys the effort they make for each other, and they both appreciate being able to relax in their own spaces. She still feels excited to see Chris after three and a half years, attributing this to missing each other.
Benefits of Living Apart
Living apart allows them to avoid small irritations that can build up. For example, Jordan leaves contact lenses on the side of Chris's bath, and he leaves bathroom lights on. These annoyances remain minor because they are not constant. They care for each other when ill and support each other through bad days, but without a fixed daily routine. Jordan does not worry about cheating, noting that infidelity can happen even when living together. She acknowledges their privilege in being able to afford separate homes. While they plan to live apart indefinitely, they are open to change if health or circumstances require it in the future. For now, their arrangement makes them happy.
Jordan concludes that not every marriage needs to follow a cookie-cutter ideal. Commitment is about choosing each other, loving, trusting, and building a future that works for them. She is marrying the love of her life, but she does not need to live with him to know that.
