Much speculation as to whether Andy Burnham will hold a snap general election: take it from me. He won’t. Burnham’s manifesto would never, ever have got him elected the proper way and he knows it, which is why he had to sneak in by the back door. He’s not going to risk throwing away three years in the sandpit. That’s if he lasts that long.
State of the nation
So, the new look Cabinet contains a convicted fraudster, a woman who had to settle a £40k underpayment on a property purchase, and the seventh prime minister in 10 years who, incidentally, took office not only having not been elected by the public, but not even being elected by the Labour Party. Makes you proud to be British, no?
Trouble in paradise (and we can't get enough of it!)
Oh dear. Trouble in paradise. Details are emerging of tensions on the set of The Great British Bake Off, where Paul Hollywood and new judge Nigella Lawson reportedly “aren’t really getting on too well”. She thinks his arrival by helicopter is “cringe”, while he is said to be “put out” by her arrival. Nigella’s predecessors Mary Berry and Prue Leith were happy for him to get all the attention, it’s said, whereas with Nigella it’s rather different. The truth is that both of them have egos the size of a planet; when Nigella had a short-lived talk show it emerged that actually, full of charm she ain’t. All that pouting for the camera works best when it’s only her. No matter: it’s fun for the rest of us. Let battle commence!
Heaven help us all
More than two weeks on and like everyone who knew her, I still can’t believe what happened to Ann Widdecombe, may she rest in peace. Now, Heaven help us all, MPs are being advised to install safe rooms. That’s if they can afford it, they’re not all fat cats. What is noticeable about all of this is that this surge in violence in public life has come at the exact same time as the “be kind” campaign, which in reality means anything but, and the rise in the concept of “hate crime”, namely an attack on free speech. Our rights are being eroded and decent people of utmost integrity such as Ann are paying a terrible price. We have allowed a climate of violence and hate to develop – just think of all those pro-Palestine marches, which are in reality an orgy of antisemitism – much of it imported from elsewhere. Can anyone remember traditional British values? Because we need a return to them, now.
Really?
The con artist Lee Evans, currently in jail (again) in Dubai, is said to be touting a sex tape of his wife Katie Price. Good heavens above, you’d never have thought it to look at him, would you? I jest. What possessed her?
Farewell to a true great
And so farewell then Ed Stourton, one of the last of the Radio 4 broadcasting greats. His colleagues were full of praise for him, as well they might be, with no mention of the fact that he was allegedly pushed out of the Today programme because his accent was too posh. There are certainly no similar concerns over the current lot. RIP Ed: you will be missed.
Quote of the week
“To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.” – Ogden Nash
Wrong, wrong, wrong!
It is my joyous weekly task to search for a quote for this column: here’s one that didn’t make the grade. “The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat,” also by Ogden Nash, and just for once, he’s wrong. We currently have two and one of the most entertaining sights I know is little Boo showing her affection by headbutting us constantly. The only problem is that she headbutts everything else in sight as well, including the sofa and my laptop. Bless!
