Former MI5 Director Unveils Outlandish Gerbil Lie Detector Scheme
In a startling revelation, the former director of MI5, Lord Jonathan Evans, has disclosed that the British spy agency once seriously considered employing gerbils in interrogations to identify liars. During an exclusive interview with journalists Gordon Corera and David McCloskey, Lord Evans recounted reading a classified dossier titled 'Gerbils Use in Counterintelligence', which outlined one of the most peculiar espionage proposals in history.
The Gerbil-Powered Lie Detection Concept
Lord Evans described how the dossier contained research into training gerbils to detect stress hormones, such as those found in a suspect's sweat during deception. The plan went even further, proposing a rodent-based lie detector device. In this contraption, multiple gerbils would be placed in a box, and a suspect would insert their hand. If the animals sensed the chemical signals associated with lying, they would activate a mechanism—like pushing a wheel—to trigger a light, indicating a potential falsehood.
Lord Evans remarked: 'You see the title and think, I’ve got to read that. The gerbil then pushes a wheel or something and a light comes on, and that tells you whether this is true or false.' Despite the formal documentation and serious consideration, he noted a critical flaw: 'The only problem with this technology is that it doesn’t actually work.'
A Legacy of Animal Espionage in British Intelligence
This gerbil initiative adds to a rich tradition of using animals in espionage, particularly during World War Two and the Cold War. Lord Evans, who led MI5 from April 2007 to April 2013, including through the 2012 London Olympics, joked about the idea: 'I thought that was really going to solve counter-espionage challenges - but there you go. You have to take risks. We normally like our pigeons, but we've introduced gerbils into the spy world now.'
His predecessor, Baroness Eliza Manningham-Buller, who served as MI5 head from 2002 to 2007, previously revealed how pigeons were utilised by the agency. During World War Two, her mother, Lady Manningham-Buller, worked for the War Office—a precursor to MI5—training homing pigeons for secret missions. These pigeons were parachuted into occupied Europe in wicker baskets, carrying messages from agents behind enemy lines, providing vital intelligence that saved lives.
Agents would visit her in Oxfordshire on motorbikes to relay information, disrupting the quiet village atmosphere. This historical context underscores the innovative, albeit sometimes unconventional, methods employed by British intelligence over the decades.
Reflections on Espionage Innovation and Risks
Lord Evans' disclosure highlights the creative risks taken in national security operations, even when ideas may seem far-fetched. The gerbil dossier exemplifies how intelligence agencies explore diverse avenues to enhance interrogation techniques, despite eventual practical limitations.
For more insights into Lord Evans' tenure and other espionage stories, listeners can tune into The Rest Is Classified podcast, featuring interviews by Gordon Corera and David McCloskey. This episode delves deeper into the quirky and serious aspects of spycraft, showcasing the enduring intrigue of MI5's secretive world.
