Writer Sarah Hepola has described the moment she woke up in a stranger's bed in Paris after a heavy night of drinking, with no memory of how she got there. The incident, which she details in a candid personal essay, saw her lose hours of time after a dinner where she drank cognac. She recalls entering her hotel alone, but then coming to on top of a man she had never seen before.
Hepola, who drank heavily through her 20s and 30s, says such blackouts were a recurring feature of her life. She recounts a similar episode in New York, where she woke up in a man's apartment after her friend Lisa had warned her not to go home with him. Despite the warning, she went back into the bar for another round and later found herself in unfamiliar surroundings.
The writer admits she saw drinking as the fuel of adventure and believed the best evenings were the ones you might regret. She recalls texting a friend about one encounter, saying she had 'had sex with some random dude and woke up on a leaking air mattress' – and received a high-five in response.
Hepola, who moved to New York from Texas at the age of 31, says she was aware of 'roofies' and the dangers of drink-spiking, but recognised that her own problem was different. She describes blackouts as 'a curtain falling in the middle of the act', leaving blank spaces where pivotal scenes should be.
Reflecting on the Paris incident, she says she stayed with the stranger in a room she did not recognise, looking out on to a city that was not her home. The one question that dominated her thoughts, she says, was: 'How did I get here?'
