A woman has written to an advice column saying she is finally done with her difficult in-laws and does not want to join a planned week away for her father-in-law's 70th birthday.
She explains that for years she has put up with being ignored, whispered about and even openly insulted by her mother-in-law and sister-in-law, biting her tongue for the sake of her husband and father-in-law, who she describes as a lovely person.
Controlling mother-in-law organises family events
The reader says her mother-in-law is extremely controlling and organises weekends and family holidays that the family is expected to attend. Once there, she says she is treated like an inconvenience, and her sister-in-law is argumentative and hostile.
Now the in-laws have planned a week in a big Airbnb in the countryside for October half term to mark the father-in-law's 70th birthday. Normally she would bite the bullet and go, but this time she does not feel like it and does not see why she should.
Advice: skip the trip but let husband and kids go
The columnist advises her not to go on the holiday, adding that she does not have to stop her husband and children going either. If the mother-in-law and sister-in-law ask why she is not there, she could be honest and say she does not feel they enjoy her being there and it is no fun for her either.
The columnist also says the husband is getting off easy and should be the one to step in, explaining to his mum and sister that their behaviour is not acceptable, and that the reason his wife is not going is because they never make her feel welcome.
The advice concludes that the reader does not have to be at her mother-in-law's beck and call, and can be choosier about which family events she attends, as long as she is not stopping her husband from seeing his family.
