While looks may play a role in first impressions, research suggests that personality traits are ultimately more important for long-term attraction. Surveys consistently show that qualities such as agreeableness, extraversion, and intelligence rank higher than physical appearance when people describe what they seek in a partner. Material successes like financial security and owning a nice home are considered among the least important.
However, self-reported surveys may be influenced by social-desirability bias, where respondents give answers they believe are socially acceptable. Greg Webster, a psychology professor at the University of Florida, notes that people typically claim to value intelligence over looks, but real-life dating choices might differ. Yet data from the dating app So Syncd, which uses psychometric tests, indicates that nearly 90% of users prioritise personality over appearance.
Psychologists often use the Big Five personality test, which measures openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Among these, agreeableness—reflecting interpersonal skills, caring, and compassion—is a strong predictor of relationship satisfaction and stability. For both men and women, physical attractiveness must be combined with agreeableness to predict desire for a serious relationship.
Webster emphasises that agreeableness is “indispensable for harmonious long-term relationships,” as entering a relationship with an unkind person would be problematic. Furthermore, people tend to be attracted to those with similar personalities and values. Sociologists Terri Orbuch and Susan Sprecher highlight that similarity in personality traits like conscientiousness and openness helps couples solve problems and manage daily tasks, making it a fundamental principle of attraction.
