Daily Star agony aunt Jane O'Gorman is on hand every day to tackle readers' issues with straight-talking advice. From bedroom confessions to self-confidence and drug use, she has helped thousands of readers over the years.
Readers can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Partner wants another 'free pass'
A reader says that in May he allowed his partner to bring another man back to their flat for sex. She had been nagging him for ages, claiming something was needed to spice up their sex life and reboot the relationship. The evening was torture for him, and he says they broke the bed and his heart.
She said he was entitled to a 'free pass' for a night with another woman, but he snapped that he didn't want it. Now she wants another 'injection of energy' and has met a guy she'd like to get messy with. He suspects that even if he says no, she'll go behind his back anyway. A couple of times he's suggested the relationship could be over, but she won't have it.
Jane says he cannot allow this woman to use and humiliate him a minute longer. If she only wants him for his property and cash, she must be shown the door. Jane advises him to level with her tonight, tell her everything has gone too far, and that he won't tolerate another man in his bed. She says he must consider his sexual health and emotional limits, and asks whether she honestly expects him to operate a revolving door policy.
Costly hen do plan
Another reader is set to be head bridesmaid for a friend who wants a 'crazy hen do' involving an expensive European hotel, male strippers, cocktails and a visit to a sex club. The whole thing is costed at at least £700 each. The friend has asked the reader to organise it and pay the deposits on her credit card upfront.
Jane says the reader doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to do. She advises her to say 'Sorry. No' and be upfront and honest before it goes further. Jane notes that the friend may be miffed, but she needs to come up with a reasonable Plan B because the reader won't be the only one balking at the cost.
Grief still raw
A third reader says his partner's mother died five years before they met, but her grief is still so raw it's like it happened yesterday. He keeps telling her to make more of an effort to get over her mum. They've never been on holiday together because she feels too much frivolity would be 'disloyal' to her mum.
Jane agrees it would be fantastic if the partner could embrace each new day, but says it's often easier said than done. She encourages the reader to support her in seeking professional help, offering to visit her GP with her, and to check out Cruse Bereavement Care. Jane advises making it clear he's on her side and she mustn't feel guilty about being alive. She says her mother's death hit her very hard, but surely seizing every day and living a full existence is the best way to honour the woman who gave her life.
