Kelly Clarke, 55, from Crawley, Sussex, decided at age 50 that after a successful career and world travel, she was ready to become a mother. She underwent IVF treatment in Athens using a donor egg and sperm, and gave birth to daughter Lyla Rae Clarke in March 2021. The baby weighed 7lbs 8oz.
Defying the Fertility Clock
New research from IVIRMA Global Research Alliance, an assisted reproduction institute in Italy, studied 1,774 women and found that fertility treatment success drops significantly after age 49, even with donor eggs. The study reported that women over 49 had lower odds of live birth and more than double the odds of miscarriage compared to women aged 35-40. However, Kelly says this should not deter women.
According to the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority, the number of women in their fifties using donor eggs for IVF has increased by 67% in the past decade.
'You're as Old as You Feel'
Kelly said: “At the end of the day you're as old as you feel. I was at my peak fitness when I conceived and I had the most amazing pregnancy, feeling her inside me was my dream come true. Even though UK doctors called me geriatric, I had no medical problems at all. All I suffered from were migraines, but I already suffered from them and I couldn’t take my normal medicine. The only cravings were strawberries and pineapple and the only thing that got fat were my ankles. I couldn't recommend it enough to anyone who was thinking about having a kid – just do it.”
IVF Journey and Single Motherhood
Kelly, a former flight attendant of 23 years and later a high-profile worker at Gatwick Airport, travelled to Athens in 2020 for IVF. She explained: “I conceived with a donor egg and donor sperm, as the clinician said it was too risky to use my eggs, and the official recommendation was a donor. I trusted the experts completely. She is not my egg, but she is mine, I grew her and without me she wouldn't be here.”
She chose a sperm donor to avoid co-parenting, raising Lyla exactly as she wished. After being made redundant during the pandemic, Kelly relied on Universal Credit before retraining as a swim teacher. She now works as a teaching assistant at her daughter's school.
Life as an Older Mum
Kelly said: “When I became a mum I needed a good set up, so I went and sorted the good set up myself. I want to spend as much time as possible with Lyla Rae, I don’t want other people picking her up or dropping her off because that’s my job, so I went out to find something that fits around our schedule. I worked my socks off and paid my mortgage off just after Lyla’s first birthday, so now all my salary is spent on bills and Lyla. I don’t think I would have done as well as I am now if I was a younger mum, it would have been different and I would have made it work, but I wouldn’t have been able to do as much.”
She added: “For me at this point of my life, I don't look at her and think ‘I need a babysitter so that I can go out and do things’. I’ve done the partying, I've done the flying, I’ve travelled, I’ve swam with sharks, I’ve done so much and I can show her all the pictures. Now I can share the experiences with Lyla and I’m not looking at her wishing her life away just so I can get mine back. My life is being a mummy and I’m living my best life.”
Advice for Others
Kelly said: “I’ve spoken to a few friends who were umming and ahhing about it and I would 100% recommend doing it. You’ll regret not doing it as once that baby is here, the love is worth everything and you’ll think thank goodness I did it.”
Now five years old, Lyla Rae is in reception at school, reads and writes well, knows her mother's phone number, and is described as polite, kind, and chatty. Kelly said: “Lyla is amazing, I am so lucky. She is in reception at school and reads and writes so well, she knows my phone number, she is polite and kind. She is so chatty and a proper storyteller, just like me.”
