A man who pursued his girlfriend for months before she agreed to a date now finds himself struggling to keep up with her constant sexual demands. Writing to the Daily Star's agony aunt, Jane O'Gorman, he admits he is 'in over my head' and increasingly faking enthusiasm.
After chasing her with flowers, chocolates, and grand promises, she finally relented following his offer of concert tickets and a hotel night. That night, he says, 'was even better' than the concert, but her energy has proven relentless ever since.
Relentless Sexual Demands
'She never wants a night off,' he writes. 'She literally charges through the door after work and rips my clothes off.' There is no kissing or cuddling, he adds, just 'straight down to business'.
He loves that she fancies him so much, but after a gruelling day he feels like he is faking it. The couple have had sex everywhere from a museum storeroom to a lift in his mum's flats. For his birthday, she arranged a threesome with a professional sex worker, which he describes as 'intense'.
Jane's Advice: Compromise and Communication
Jane advises him to calmly tell his girlfriend he needs an occasional breather, emphasising that he is 'only human'. She suggests proposing a 'sex contract' of one night on, one night off, to see if she will compromise.
'You love her and this doesn't take anything away from your relationship,' Jane writes. 'But is she willing to see things from your point of view too? Can she give you a break?' If she refuses, he needs to talk again.
Exploring Solutions and Underlying Issues
Jane notes that very few people can sustain such high sexual energy long term. She suggests introducing sex toys to take some pressure off him, and asks whether his girlfriend might be a sex addict who could benefit from professional therapy.
'Is she happy with her life, her sexual energy, and her urges?' Jane asks. 'Is all of this sex making her truly happy?'
