Barry Hoffner was sitting on his hotel bed in Dubai, about to order room service, when the phone rang. A voice said, "This is Barney from Okavango Horse Safaris in Botswana. There has been a terrible accident. Jackie was killed by an elephant." It was 2017, and his wife of 20 years had died in a freak incident during a horse safari in Botswana.
A Fateful Decision to Return for Tip Money
Jackie Hoffner, 66, had been working for a nonprofit focused on wild animal conservation and had made many contacts in Africa. She was in Botswana while Barry was en route to meet her in Nairobi. She was due to leave that day, take a helicopter flight from Okavango, then catch a flight to Nairobi. Her bags were packed. She was having breakfast and going on her last horse ride, but she went back to her tent to get a tip for the guide. "She was walking back on this path to the camp and stumbled, and before you know it, before we knew it, that was it," Barry said.
Shock and Responsibility
Barry, a former investment banker, described the news as a wrecking ball. He initially thought he would have to go to Botswana, but realized he couldn't change what had happened. Instead, he focused on telling his sons, Benjamin and Daniel, then 28 and 27. He contacted a rabbi in Georgetown to be with Benjamin as he broke the news over the phone, then flew to Spain to tell Daniel in person. The family returned to America, and Barry began what he calls his "year zero": life after Jackie.
A Path to Healing Through Travel
Barry and Benjamin moved to DC. "I did meditation, read a lot, and built a pathway to healing," he said. "I had stepped out of my life. I really only had responsibility for making Benjamin breakfast in the morning and dinner at night." After a period, he realized he had to step back into life. Travel had always been important, so he took a trip. It began with a half marathon in Dushanbe, Tajikistan. He had already visited around 100 countries and has since visited every nation in the world except North Korea.
Honoring Jackie's Legacy
Barry channeled his grief into expanding the charitable work he and Jackie had begun. Through his foundation, Caravan to Class, which builds and supports schools in rural communities around Timbuktu, he launched the Bourse Jackie Scholarship in her memory. The program supports talented women aged 18 to 23 across West Africa through education, leadership training, mentorship, and public speaking. It has helped young women secure international scholarships and leadership opportunities. "For me, it's a way of holding on to her and honouring her, and feeling like these young women are carrying her spirit forward in some way," he said.
Moving Forward
Barry, now 66, lives in Sausalito, California. He has a girlfriend who coincidentally shares Jackie's birthdate. He is looking forward to visiting North Korea, the final country on his global tour. "I've had such an incredible journey. I'm still processing the places and the people. Of course I would trade all of that for having Jackie back. On the other hand, I do have a sense of gratitude for being able to move forward in life," he said. Barry is the author of Belonging to the World: A Journey from Grief to Connection in Every Country on Earth.
