Reality television star Spencer Matthews has delivered a raw and candid account of his lifelong struggle with grief, revealing he has never truly processed the death of his older brother on Mount Everest. The 27-year-old also spoke of carrying "a lot of shame" through his twenties and credited his wife, Vogue Williams, with transforming his life and helping him achieve sobriety.
A Childhood Hero Lost on Everest
During an emotional appearance on Davina McCall's podcast, Begin Again, Spencer reflected on the profound impact of losing his sibling, Michael Matthews. Michael tragically died on Mount Everest in 1999 at the age of 22, after becoming the youngest Briton to summit the world's highest peak. He disappeared during the perilous descent in the so-called 'Death Zone' and his body was never recovered.
"I never dealt with it really, because I never truly believed it at the time, firstly," Spencer confessed. "Because he was a huge hero to me. I was very young. I didn't believe it when I first heard it." He recalled his parents breaking the news that Michael was missing on the mountain, a statement he dismissed as "a load of rubbish" in his youthful disbelief.
The story of Michael's climb and Spencer's subsequent quest for answers is documented in the film Finding Michael.
Extreme Challenges and Personal Redemption
The former Made In Chelsea star described how his recent extreme endurance feats, which have earned him two Guinness World Records, represent a form of personal redemption. These challenges include running 30 marathons in 30 days in the Jordanian desert in 2024 and completing a gruelling seven-triathlon challenge across seven continents.
"I feel much better than I thought I would," he said of his accomplishments. "It's not so much a physical feeling, but very proud. And for me, that hasn't always been a given. You know, I've carried a fair amount of shame through my 20s and, you know, regretted a lot of my behaviour." He called the journey "meaningful" and a sign of "real progress."
How Vogue Williams Saved Their Relationship
In perhaps the most personal revelation, Spencer detailed how his relationship with wife Vogue Williams was slipping away due to his problems with alcohol. The founder of non-alcoholic spirit brand CleanCo stated he made a "very conscious effort to become better" when they first met.
"I had big problems with alcohol. You'll probably remember on The Jump, I was a very heavy drinker. I went sober for her initially," he admitted. "I could just see the relationship slipping. I could see that she would lose interest in me... The fear of losing her was quite real."
He heaped praise on Vogue, calling her a "very special person" who lights up rooms and is an "incredible" mother to their children. "Genuinely, the person I used to be isn't good enough for my wife," Spencer stated, acknowledging her role in his profound personal transformation.
