Daily Star's agony aunt Jane O'Gorman is available daily to help readers with their problems, offering straightforward advice on issues ranging from bedroom confessions to self-confidence and drug use. Readers can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Jane cannot respond to individual letters, and not all problems will be published.
Partner's Ex Back in Contact
A reader wrote in saying their partner is back in contact with his ex, and they blame themselves. The reader saw intimate messages and nasty comments about them on his phone, and a friend suggested the pair might be meeting for sex. The friend saw him coming out of a local hotel at 8am, though he had said he was visiting his brother.
The reader admitted it was their idea for him to make contact after her mother died, but now they argue constantly. He insists nothing is going on, but he has stopped kissing the reader and no longer initiates sex, yet he is never too tired for 'drinks after work' or 'park runs' that last for hours.
Jane advised the reader to admit they made a mistake and tell their partner the relationship is in serious danger. She suggested begging him to end all contact with his ex, as remaining friends is not an option. If he refuses to meet halfway, Jane questioned whether the couple has a future, and advised the reader to start protecting themselves if they have proof of dirty talk or sex.
Messy Girlfriend and Online Flirting
Another reader complained that his girlfriend never washes up or clears away. He came home to find the kitchen flooded after the washing machine broke, and she had gone out drinking with her mates instead of warning him. He works hard to keep their new flat clean and needs order and calm.
Jane recommended the couple sit down and discuss how they will live their lives, noting the girlfriend may resent being cast as the homemaker because she is a woman. She advised flagging up problems before they worsen, and questioned whether the girlfriend, who sounds immature and irresponsible, is right for him.
A third reader said his girlfriend chats to other men online, claiming they are James Bond fans from around the world. She giggles and flirts, and he does not understand why she must converse with other guys. Jane advised him to tell her she hurts and confuses him, and to suggest putting the phone away to talk, go for a walk, or have an early night instead, refusing to compete with strangers.
