A unique polyamorous dynamic
Sadie, 38, met Jonathan through his wife Leonie, whom she was dating. Leonie and Jonathan are polyamorous, and Leonie suggested that Sadie and Jonathan would be more sexually compatible. After Leonie ended her romantic relationship with Sadie, the trio remained friends. A month later, Jonathan and Sadie kissed for the first time while drinking in a hammock, with Leonie teasing that she had seen it coming.
The couple took things slowly, waiting four months before having sex. When Jonathan developed feelings for Sadie, he worried about disrupting the trio's dynamic and proposed ending their relationship. Sadie refused, telling him: "This is too special to give up."
The spreadsheet and charcuterie board
The night they officially became boyfriend and girlfriend and exchanged "I love you," Sadie gave Jonathan a spreadsheet containing 100 sexual activities they had both agreed to or expressed interest in. These included having sex in a carwash and sploshing (food play). Jonathan used Sadie as a charcuterie board as part of their adventures.
Leonie and Sadie say they have "joint custody" of Jonathan, but they also maintain a relationship independent of him. Sadie is not sexual with Leonie, but they are committed to each other as emergency contacts and enjoy gardening and cooking together. "When all of us are together we're like a little family," Sadie said.
Challenges and growth
The arrangement has not been without difficulties. Sadie admitted to feeling jealous at times and unsure of her place early on. Jonathan would sometimes double-book time with Sadie and Leonie. However, Sadie said: "Even when it's hard, it's better than any of my previous relationships."
Sadie currently lives four blocks away from the couple, a distance that suits her. She is free to date others but rarely does, saying she is only in love with Jonathan. "One relationship is enough for me," she said. She jokingly calls herself a "side-piece," but Jonathan corrects her: "You're not a side piece. You're a core member of this dynamic."
Jonathan's perspective on falling in love
Jonathan, 44, admitted that falling in love with Sadie frightened him. He had struggled in the past when Leonie fell in love with someone else, but by the time Sadie entered their lives, he was no longer afraid of jealousy. Instead, he feared being a bad boyfriend and damaging Sadie's relationship with Leonie.
When Leonie first brought Sadie home, Jonathan felt like a third wheel, but Leonie had been telling Sadie that she thought they would be a better match. After their first kiss and eventual sex, the chemistry was so strong they orgasmed simultaneously.
Project 69 and the driving seat
When Jonathan tried to pause the relationship due to his feelings, Sadie told him it would be like "trying to put toothpaste back in the tube." The spreadsheet, dubbed "Project 69," is not just about sex but about discovering new things about themselves. Jonathan said he never knew he was into "confusing sexy" (like Sadie dressing up as the Grinch) or that he could be so playful in bed.
Jonathan insists that despite assumptions, he is not leading the relationships. "The women are in the driving seat. They're strong, funny, smart and opinionated; they hold me to account. The three of us are a team. I'm so lucky to have two wonderful women who love me, but the reason it works so well is because they also love each other."
