Late-night hosts recapped Donald Trump's lavish state dinner for Chinese leader Xi Jinping and the president's private White House ballroom tour, with Jon Stewart, Seth Meyers and Jimmy Kimmel all weighing in.
Jon Stewart on the White House tour
On Monday's Daily Show, Jon Stewart described how Trump greeted Xi at the airport for what he called a pivotal three-day visit to Washington. "Now, as with any monumental meeting of superpowers, with profound repercussions for global safety and stability, it began with 'House Tour'," Stewart said, before clips of Trump showing off the White House's gilded frames and red carpet.
"Trump spent most of Xi's White House visit just pointing at shit, while Xi did his best effort to pretend to be impressed. Although I'm sure they talked about issues of national importance," Stewart said, before a clip of Trump telling the press of Xi: "We had a great meeting, and he has great interest in granite."
"Does he? Does he love good granite?" Stewart wondered. "Is that his 'I love good granite' face? Because it looks like his 'I'd rather be standing in front of a tank in a square' face. Look it up."
Stewart compared Trump's new circular granite helicopter parking spot with Shenzhen, China, noting the city has a fully autonomous magnetic levitation train. "Pretty sure he's not blown away by carved rock in shape of circle," he said.
Ballroom, weapons and national security
Stewart questioned whether Trump understood "the seriousness of the competition between our two nations", asking: "I mean, national security is the whole reason we're paying $600m for this fucking ballroom, right? So you'll keep that behind the curtain, yeah?" Trump did invite Xi and his wife "through that beautiful curtain", making them the first people to set foot in the new "military complex" ballroom. "Maybe Trump's just trying to sell Xi Jinping on renting the ballroom out for his next big function," Stewart quipped.
Stewart noted that while Trump talked granite and ballrooms, he apparently did not bring up the fact that China is selling weapons to Iran, and appeared to offer to sell weapons to China. "What the fuck?! How does America even stay on the map sometimes?" Stewart said. "How do we not just slide into the sea?"
Seth Meyers on the meetings
On Late Night, Seth Meyers said that while Trump bragged about his multi-day welcome for Xi, "it didn't seem like you got a lot of work done in those meetings. Mostly, I saw you babbling about the White House renovations, like the ballroom."
Of Trump's invitation to Xi and his wife, Meyers said: "First of all, if someone invites you to go 'through that beautiful curtain in the back', you need to get the fuck out of there. It's like the first scene in a horror movie that takes place in an antique store." He added: "Also, isn't this bullshit ballroom of yours supposed to include a bunch of top secret military facilities, and if it does, maybe don't do the tour with the heads of foreign governments?"
Meyers also mocked Trump's enthusiasm for Xi's alleged interest in granite. "Stop pretending that everyone else is interested in the same dumb shit you're interested in!" he laughed. "First of all, outside of you, no one has a great interest in granite. If you meet someone who says they have a great interest in granite, odds are they're also going to go through their beautiful curtain in the back."
Jimmy Kimmel on the state dinner and Mamdani
On Jimmy Kimmel Live!, broadcasting from the Brooklyn Academy of Music in New York, Kimmel roasted Trump's state dinner for Xi, attended by Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos and JD Vance, among others. "All the famous people who weren't invited to Taylor Swift's wedding were there," Kimmel quipped. He added that Trump says he and Xi have never gotten along better, and they do seem to be quite close, before a clip of Trump clasping hands with Xi while ascending the stairs to the White House.
Later, Kimmel hosted New York City mayor Zohran Mamdani, asking about his "unexpected" relationship with Trump, "which seems to be a very friendly relationship". Kimmel asked how he had done it and whether he could help him. "Sorry brother," Mamdani replied. "The president and I have many disagreements. One thing we do agree on is this city, how much we love this city, so from that first meeting in November of last year, I was just thinking of how we can make this meeting not about us, but about New Yorkers. How can we spend that time talking about the things that can make life in the city a little bit easier."
Asked about reports that he occasionally texts with the president, and Kimmel's request for "a selfie of us right now", Mamdani shut him down: "Jimmy, I love you, but I love housing more."
