The announcement that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are relocating back to the UK has been declared a "surprise" by commentators who insist they didn't see it coming. However, to anyone looking through a showbiz gaze rather than a royal one, it was inevitable.
Hollywood's Waning Patience
Hollywood has grown sick and tired of Meghan and her grifts and, despite being given far more opportunities than the average former Z-list actress, she and Harry have delivered flop after flop. Netflix cancelled her much-derided lifestyle series With Love, Meghan after two seasons. A polo documentary series for the streamer in 2024 failed to engage, well, anyone.
Their upcoming drama series set in the world of polo is already being derided as a second-rate Rivals rip-off. Perhaps most humiliatingly, her film Cookie Queens, which follows four young Girl Scouts as they navigate the high-stakes, competitive world of the annual cookie-selling season, has performed dismally at the box office.
A History of Limited Appeal
Even before she met Harry, Meghan was getting the Hollywood cold shoulder, spending her breaks from Suits showcasing her "hot girl summers" rather than making TV movies, as is usual for stars of long-running shows. Her co-stars were picking up side projects but Meghan wasn't getting cast outside Suits. Perhaps because, without a brand behind her, she simply isn't that interesting.
She couldn't even manage her cringeworthy guest judge spot on MasterChef Australia without having Harry FaceTime her mid-show - because her faux-royal schtick doesn't quite cut it unless she is hanging off the coattails of her actual royal husband. Hollywood is, ultimately, about bums on seats. And it is obvious Meghan is not the draw she thinks she is.
The UK's Likely Reception
When Harry and Meghan first arrived in America they were welcomed with open arms, thanks in no small part to the country's enduring obsession with all things royal. But their titles could only take them so far. They have now exhausted their own story - which, let's be honest, is all they really had to sell.
How many different ways can Meghan complain about racism in the UK? Or the effect it had on her mental health? She has utilised them all. Clearly, the only way to get some new material is to return to the place which, according to her account, drove her to the brink - or so she would have Oprah's viewers believe.
She may think people have forgotten that interview, but it is indelibly ingrained in the minds of those who watched it. And it will undoubtedly contribute to the welcome she receives and the opportunities available to her. I suspect she will find those opportunities rather limited. Hollywood may have grown tired of Meghan's act, but Britain is equally unlikely to roll out the red carpet for her return. And this time she doesn't have the advantage of star-struck royal fans waiting to turn her into a global star.
