Austen Cole, 55, who has less than 12 months to live, held his own “living wake” at his favourite pub, The Dove, in Newport Pagnell, Milton Keynes. The now retired self-employed ceramic tiler was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that had spread to his liver and lymph nodes in May, after doctors dismissed his symptoms as IBS for more than six months.
A celebration instead of mourning
Instead of being miserable, the dad-of-two said he has a “spring in his step” and is trying to be “as positive as possible”. His “leaving do” was attended by over 200 family members, best pals, colleagues, and his partner, 50-year-old Tracey Nash.
Describing the night, Austen said: “It was amazing and I loved every minute of it. There was so much laughter, love and fun. I saw people I hadn’t seen since primary school – I couldn’t believe how many people came. The pub was packed.”
“Why would I want to miss it?”
He added: “Tracey wanted to call it a celebration of my life but I called it my leaving do. It seemed right. It was almost like a wedding because I spent the whole time going round talking to everyone. It was only as people left that it became more like a funeral and there were some tears. The leaving do started at 2.30pm and Tracey and I were the last ones standing at midnight… I can honestly say I loved being at my own wake. Why would I want to miss it?”
Alongside Tracey, he will also leave behind his daughter Lois Cole, 28, and son Lloyd Cole, 30. The dad said Lloyd and Lois thought the wake was a “brilliant idea” and “enjoyed the day”.
Heartwarming memories and future plans
Tracey said: “It was truly amazing to see how many people came to celebrate Austen and be part of such a special day. The atmosphere was incredible, but what made it so meaningful was hearing so many people share their stories and memories of Austen. It gave everyone the chance to say the things they may have otherwise regretted never making the time to say. It was incredibly heartwarming to see Austen surrounded by so many of the friends he had made throughout the years, watching him laugh, smile and add to the stories and memories they were reminiscing about together. But my favourite part of the whole evening was seeing Austen realise just how deeply loved he is, and just how much of an impact he has had on so many people’s lives.”
Austen vows not to waste a single minute of the limited time he has left. He has revealed how he has selflessly decided to make his three-bedroom home perfect for Tracey, a hairdresser, to maintain when she is alone. He built a 4x3 metre extension, did painting and decorating work in their living room and hallway, and erected new fencing, even though he is in pain and on morphine. He said: “I want it all to be in excellent order for Tracey so she needn’t worry about it.”
He is also looking forward to trips away, including to Alton Towers and Jersey. He said: “Weirdly people keep saying how well I look, even though I’m dying. I could have had chemo but it would only delay things by a couple of months and probably make me feel even worse. So decided instead not to mope around but to make the most of every day I have left. I’ve lost weight but I try to be outside as much as I can so I look tanned and healthy rather than pale and pasty. It all helps! The way I see it is that I’ve been dealt a card and I have this illness but I’m not going to let it rule what life I have left. I can still be happy. Maybe that attitude is even paying off. Who knows, this time next year I might be holding a ‘Stuff You’ party to terminal cancer!”
