Gemma Collins has opened up about the “hell” she has experienced over the past year, which included the death of her mother, her fiancé's admission of alcoholism, and the realisation that plans to have a child are “not going to work”.
The former TOWIE star was originally set to film a Sky documentary series called ‘Four Weddings and a Baby’, which would have seen her hold multiple ceremonies marrying long-term partner Rami Hawash and then try to start a family. However, the documentary, now titled ‘Gemma Collins. Everything. All At Once.’, had to be renamed after events in her life took an unexpected turn.
Opening up about her struggles
Speaking about the series, Collins said: “You can see I'm unwell. You can see I'm not in my best, and life just got progressively worse as I let the cameras in. It was hell. But you know, one thing my mum taught me was resilience, I'm resilient to get through all this really. It can get better. So let's hope everything starts to get better now because I can't take any more. I need a break.”
At a launch event for ‘Everything. All At Once’ at Selfridges in London, fans and invited guests saw the opening two episodes, which show the first signs of problems beginning. Her mother Joan was shown getting ill at the end of last year and died in July after several years of health issues.
Fertility struggles and relationship tensions
In the series, Collins is also shown telling Rami “We do wanna have a baby and we ain’t got time to waste”. The pair then head to the Portland hospital for fertility tests, which reveal they will have problems, and Collins has not managed to conceive.
Speaking afterwards, the 45-year-old added: “I do think timing's everything. I'm 45 in life now. It's not going to work out for me. You have to keep watching the show, but there are options there. Do I really need a child? If I'm meant to go down the egg donor route and it's successful, I'll do that. Let's just see now where life takes me.”
The final major issue is between Collins and her fiancé Rami. He has been using whisky to cope with stress in his life, including the death of his own father and Joan's illness and death. Things come to a head in front of the cameras when Collins cooks a special meal for him, and he comes home from work and tries to hide that he has been drinking. The pair are shown arguing on screen, with Rami swearing at Collins, and the issue is addressed throughout the series. Collins is seen questioning whether they should be together.
At the event, Collins said: “Rami's not a bad person. But Rami is an awful person in alcohol, and there's a lot of people in the UK that are struggling with that right now. And I really hope Rami goes on to love himself enough to realise that there's a lot of help and support out there. Let's hope Rami goes back to the Rami we all love, and you know the guy that you can see as a supportive partner and all of that. But this is Rami's choice. You can't force someone to get well. They need to want it from within.”
Rami's perspective and looking ahead
Rami, who sat next to Collins at the screening, added: “I can be happy in my garage and laugh with everyone and blah blah blah, but when I go home, you know, I just want my drink. I wanted people to know, like Gemma said, it is a problem. Like people hiding a lot of things. So I wanted people to see what we actually are like. I’ve got a problem. It's been a coping mechanism. I don't know why, but I find the drink. It was kind of my friend, it's like I have a few drinks and I'm forgetting everything.”
Collins and Rami have been together on and off for 15 years. The series marks a crossroads in her life, and she reflected: “When you lose a parent, there's nothing worse that can happen to you in life. So, I'm just hoping that you know I'll continue to be strong, and I feel her [mum] so much, and I will get through life. I'm gonna be alright. I don't know where my life's going now, but let's see what happens.”
The Sky Original reality series launches on 15 September on Sky and streaming service NOW.
