Jeremy Clarkson has been testing the new Porsche 911 GT3 Touring and admits he was left mortified after an accidental engine-revving incident in a crematorium car park during a funeral. At 66, Clarkson is scarcely beyond middle age by contemporary standards, yet in numerous respects, he remains a figure from another time, harking back to a vastly different period when eating habits, farming practices, and driving habits were altogether different.
Praise for the Porsche
This is why he has voiced his enthusiasm for the launch of a new sports car that makes few compromises to modern expectations. 'It's not just a sports car,' he said of the new Porsche 911 GT3 Touring. 'It's the best sports car I've ever driven.' However, this doesn't mean the £204,000 German vehicle, which features a six-speed manual gearbox, is without shortcomings. 'Unless you give it a bootful of revs when pulling away from the lights or manoeuvring, it is ridiculously easy to stall,' Jeremy wrote in The Sunday Times.
Embarrassing Moment at Crematorium
This trait can render the Porsche somewhat more awkward than one might wish. Jeremy said: 'This isn't so bad unless you are trying to reverse into a space in the car park at your local crematorium. I have never felt so embarrassed. The mourners were all gathering for a very upsetting funeral, and here was an absolute dingleberry making sports-exhaust revving noises as if he was in a Sainsbury's car park on a Saturday night in a souped-up Vauxhall Nova.'
Jeremy had several other grievances, including a minor delay when transitioning from dipped headlights to full beam and extra tyre noise that makes conversation within the cabin more difficult. Beyond that, however, he characterised the Porsche as an excellent car to drive, though one that, like himself, appears somewhat disconnected from the modern era. 'It's as if Porsche has engineered a car for a world that no longer exists. It sits in the market today like a four-piece rock band would sit in the charts.'
Dig at Richard Hammond
He was less generous when addressing his former colleague's passion for traditional motoring. Given Richard Hammond's status as one of Britain's most esteemed motoring journalists, it's hardly surprising that he possesses several highly coveted vehicles. Notable highlights in his collection include two Jaguar E-Types: a silver-blue 1969 model worth more than £72,000, and a rare 1962 example that could command upwards of £220,000 on the current market. In fact, Richard's complete collection, which spans from a Ferrari 550 Maranello to a 1931 Lagonda M45, is estimated to be worth around $2 million (£1.5 million), according to VIP Fortunes.
Yet that remarkable garage has sparked some rather uncharitable observations from Jeremy. The former Top Gear and The Grand Tour host, who has seen a considerable portion of his own television income consumed by the frequently troubled Diddly Squat Farm enterprise, confessed he found himself 'smiling' upon discovering that Richard's E-Type had declined in value.
Falling Classic Car Values
Writing in his Sunday Times column, Jeremy said: 'When Richard Hammond bought a Series 1 E-Type Jaguar back in the days when we were doing Top Gear, I must confess I felt quite jealous.' His envy only intensified, he added, as the classic car's value skyrocketed, doubling and even tripling over the years. Richard further boosted the car's value by restoring it to near-factory condition with the assistance of Neil Greenhouse, his colleague at The Smallest Cog.
'My money was in the bank earning sod all,' Jeremy complained. 'He was driving about in his money and it was going up in value at about 100% a year. And there's no capital gains tax on a classic car, which filled me with even more despair.' However, shifts in the classic car market have caused the potential resale value of Richard's Jaguar to fall significantly, bringing it back close to its original purchase price. According to Jeremy, Richard missed his opportunity to sell the car when its value was at its peak. 'Happily he hung on to the car, assuming that the money tree would continue to grow, and then, blam, the market for E-Types stalled, so it's now worth roughly what he paid for it,' he wrote. 'I'm not punching the air as I write this, I promise, but I am smiling.'
