Des MacHale, an 80-year-old emeritus mathematics professor at University College Cork, has published a new book titled Langers & Lashes: A Compendium of Cork Slang, which he calls the most comprehensive collection of the crude, playful, and ingenious wordplay that inflects speech in Ireland's second city. The book, released in July, aims to document the 'extraordinarily rich' colloquial vernacular that most dictionaries avoid.
Key motifs: Sex, drink, and religion
MacHale notes that sex, drink, and religion are common motifs in Cork slang. For example, a 'premature ejaculator'—a term attributed to the late Cork actor and comedian Niall Tóibín—refers to a man who needs to use the toilet after only three pints. 'Immaculate conception' describes drinkers who dodge paying their round. 'Lash' is an attractive woman. 'Langer' is a versatile word that can mean idiot, drunkenness, or penis, depending on tone and context. 'Langer is an absolutely beautiful word. I'm very fond of it,' MacHale says.
Comprehensive collection of terms
The compendium draws on two earlier out-of-print books about Cork slang and conversations with local residents. MacHale explains that nearly everyone he meets contributes a new word, and women seem particularly adept at remembering and using them. The book includes terms from A to Z, such as 'all-a-bah' (a warning when someone is about to vomit), 'all Gillette' (dolled-up), 'balls of the cabbage' (Brussels sprouts), 'like a small hospital' (feeling ill), 'wooden suit' (coffin), 'bazz' (female pubic hair), 'bazzer' (a cheap haircut), and 'bozzer' (an attractive person).
Cultural context and controversy
The publisher, Mercier, added explanatory notes to highlight some terms' historical context and outdated social views, stating that inclusion does not imply endorsement. 'By retaining these terms as artefacts of the past, we aim to encourage contemporary Cork speakers to embrace the city's renowned wit while rejecting harmful stereotypes,' the foreword says. MacHale, originally from County Mayo and a resident of Cork for 55 years, is still regarded as a 'blow-in' but has bolstered his credentials through his five Cork-born children, including actor Dominic MacHale, who plays Sergeant Healy in the BBC sitcom Young Offenders.
Slang in everyday use
Cork uses local slang more extensively than other parts of Ireland, according to MacHale. 'Cork slang is very different from Dublin slang, and from Belfast, and from Galway. It's much more extensive,' he says. The book also includes phrases like 'be doggy wide' (be very careful), 'belly bachelor' (an opportunist who cultivates friendships for free meals), 'bite the back of me bollix' (tell someone to get lost), 'lob the gob' (try to kiss someone), 'martyr for the quare thing' (someone with a strong libido), 'fertilise the stars' (urinate in a field), and 'raise the froth' (urinate copiously).
Political cameo
Notably, the term 'tosser'—defined as a synonym for 'langer'—made a controversial appearance in the Irish parliament this week. During a clash with Taoiseach Micheál Martin, opposition leader Mary Lou McDonald said, 'Jesus, he really is a tosser,' a remark that entered the official Dáil record. MacHale, who has authored dozens of books on puzzles and humour, including a book of Kerryman jokes that continues to sell 50 years after publication, says his mathematical background helps him collect, classify, and organise the slang. 'A mathematician likes to collect, classify and put things together,' he explains.
