Jose Mourinho has admitted he doesn’t spend a lot of time with his family but insists his wife and kids enjoy life more when he is not there.
Family life behind the scenes
The football manager has been married to his childhood sweetheart Matilde “Tami” Faria for more than 35 years, and they have two children – Matilde, 30, and Jose Mario Jr, 26. But the family seldom travelled with him around Europe as he managed Benfica, Porto, Chelsea, Manchester United, Roma, Inter Milan and Real Madrid over 25 years. He lived in the Lowry hotel in Manchester alone for much of his time there. For the majority of their upbringing the children lived in the West London family home while Jose travelled.
In a new interview, Mourinho, 63, says: “Sometimes you have a feeling of, ‘I should be there, I’m not there.’ But I don’t want you to think that family means something less important to me. They are in a place that they cannot even be compared with football.
“But to tell the truth, I know that they enjoy life much more without me. That’s real. It’s true. If they go to a restaurant with me, it’s different than going without me.”
Mourinho on love and marriage
But Mourinho has continually stressed the importance of his marriage and family life. In 2014 he told the Mirror: “My wife trusts me, my wife knows me. She has been with me since I was 17 and she was 15 – everything is so crystal clear for us.
“My social life doesn’t exist. I have my professional work and I have my family life. I am not the kind of guy with a social life and I am so happy the way I am. The secret in everything is love. If you’re successful in any job, I believe it is because you are in love with that job.
“And if you have a successful family it is because people are in love with each other. Love is the basic.”
New Netflix documentary
Jose often credits Tami for his success as a manager. Speaking in a new Netflix documentary on his family as photos of them appear on screen, he says: “I try to protect as much as I can, but many times, of course, I fail. It’s not easy.
“The mum [Tami] is a great mum, and they understand that to be what I am in football, this is my way. They need to understand it. You are pushing me to speak about myself, which I don't want to.
“I think your happiness, your unhappiness, your problems, you leave it in the door of the training ground. Probably, it's an old-fashioned way of looking at things, but that's who I am, and in the end, I don't want to change. It's too late.”
Football obsession and the villain role
Mourinho is much more comfortable discussing his career and his coaching at clubs like Inter, Chelsea and Real where he had much success. He is now back at Real for a second stint as manager. In the documentary series he is shown joking that he is “peaceful” whilst on a walk by the coast where he is carrying two mobile phones to make calls and send messages to his team about matches and transfers.
Now back at Real, he also explains football is his life and says: “Football is a job that absorbs me. That's the way I am. No gardening, no cooking, no cleaning, no golf, no paddle, no nothing.”
Mourinho is also happy to play the villain in football and is not one to shy away from controversy. He says he does not regret criticising referee Anders Frisk who ended up getting death threats and quit football following a controversial Champions League game in 2005 between Chelsea and Barcelona.
Mourinho said: “People say I spoke too much after that match, but I will do it again. That's the way. So I'm not nice. I'm not nice. Just the way it is.”
Asked how it feels to admit he is not nice, he adds: “I do it in a pride way, and you think to help your team to get results.”
* The three-part series Mourinho drops on Netflix today (August 11).
