Mindy Kaling is aware that fans think she is secretly dating her ex-boyfriend BJ Novak, whom she was with from 2004 until 2007. After all, the 46-year-old actress and her The Office costar have a very close bond as he is helping her raise her three children.
Family Bond
'He really is in our family, and I love talking about him because my kids adore him, and he's such a huge part of our life,' she told Bustle magazine. 'But I also know that it gives people a lot of ideas. If I was just watching it from the outside, I would have the same questions and the same reactions.'
Kaling has told the publication, however, that she is single at the moment. 'I obviously have eyes and ears, and if there was someone that I had a crush on, of course I would react to that, but right now, there is not anyone out there,' noted the producer and writer.
Content Without Romance
And she feels it is odd that she is okay not being in a romantic relationship. 'It is crazy for someone like me, who only wrote about the pursuit of romance for so much of my life, to be very happy and content without a partner,' she shared.
Kaling also said the two things she really wanted in her life never happened. 'Professionally, I always wanted to write on Saturday Night Live and be a cast member on Saturday Night Live,' she noted. 'Personally, I wanted to be married. Neither of those things happened.' The writer then points out that both those things could still happen. 'That's interesting,' she said as she paused. 'Those things could happen, but I think I don't necessarily need them anymore, maybe, which is a nice feeling.'
Unfulfilled Expectations
When she was young, she thought she would get married at 24 and finish having kids by 32. 'It's really fascinating to me that, personally, nothing really happened the way that I imagined it would.' Nothing fell into place: 'All I wanted was a serious boyfriend and to follow this path that I'd set out for myself. I remember feeling like an overachiever at work and just wishing that my personal life matched my professional success — and it didn't.'
She also said that she was never into kids but felt she needed to have them. Kaling is raising the three children — Katherine aka Kit is 8, Spencer is 5, and Anne is 2 — by herself. 'It's one of the biggest mysteries in my life, this fervent knowledge that I knew I had to have kids that was not based on any real love of children.' The idea of having kids 'really scared me,' she added.
Motherhood After Loss
But after Kaling's mother died of pancreatic cancer in 2012, her interest in having children became 'an insane certainty,' she shared. 'It was one of those things where it was not cerebral at all. It was just a decision that was completely moved by my soul,' said the Running Point producer.
She has never named the father of her three children. Kaling admitted it has 'been enormously challenging,' but she feels 'so lucky because I waited till I was older, and I have more resources. I have an incredible nanny.' Also her father and stepmother 'are a huge part of my kids' lives. It's been so much better than I ever thought it would be.'
