Simon & Schuster have confirmed they will proceed with the publication of Jason Arday's memoirs, despite his reputation as a fantasist. The decision is expected to generate significant public interest, with many likely to buy the book out of curiosity. Arday may finally have something to boast about: a book at number one.
Neighbours and Hosepipe Bans
During the current heatwave, many people have been reporting neighbours for using hosepipes, a practice that is frowned upon. One resident recounted an incident where a neighbour called the fire brigade over a fire pit on a stone patio, only for the firefighters to confirm there was no problem and recognise her husband from television.
Brad Pitt's Return to Alcohol
Brad Pitt has decided to resume drinking alcohol after seven years of sobriety. While excessive drinking is discouraged, moderate consumption is seen as beneficial to social interactions. The article notes that dry countries are often the most repressive and joyless places, quoting Winston Churchill: "I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."
Andy Burnham's Listening Tour
Andy Burnham has been on a "listening tour" across the UK. The article suggests he should listen to advice to cut taxes and benefits to stimulate growth. It also criticises the previous government's gloomy atmosphere and robotic tones.
Interesting Times in Cambridge
The Labour council in Cambridge has spent £1 million on squat toilets for "international visitors," a decision seen as unnecessary. The article also mentions that a PE teacher was allowed to pass himself off as an academic in the same city.
Barbie has released a new version with more realistic proportions, though the article jokes that given obesity rates, a beach ball shape might have been more accurate.
