Strictly Come Dancing star Giovanni Pernice has revealed he was driven to suicidal thoughts after finding himself at the centre of a bullying controversy, following allegations made by Amanda Abbington.
Abbington, 53, appeared on the BBC programme three years ago and was paired with Pernice, 35, before quitting just weeks into the contest. She then claimed she was suffering from PTSD as she made accusations of bullying and harassment against him. Several other celebrities subsequently emerged with their own complaints, which the dancer strongly denied.
Investigation findings
Following an investigation into 16 allegations, he was cleared on 10 counts while the broadcaster upheld six. It was determined that he had not been physically abusive, though the complaints concerning verbal bullying and harassment were upheld.
Bosses issued an apology to Abbington, who reportedly received a financial settlement just last week. Pernice then left the series and stepped back from the spotlight, but has now spoken out to share how low he felt during the scandal.
Memoir revelations
He opened up about it in his new memoir, Taking The Lead, as he thanked his then-girlfriend Molly Brown for saving his life. In an extract from a serialisation in the Daily Mail, he revealed that he battled severe depression after the accusations first emerged.
He reportedly wrote: "Hunched on the sofa of my London flat, I scrolled through my phone as story after story brought bad news, plunging me deeper into depression. Is it worth it? I asked myself. What would happen if I wasn't here any more? Who would care?"
"Tomorrow, I pledged, I would end it all. My life was over, and the emotional pain was becoming unbearable."
Banter and support
He then admitted he was left "a burnt-out shell" following Abbington's bombshell accusations, noting that she "quickly set the tone" for their interactions.
"In a text message for my 33rd birthday, she called me 'k**b head'. Our banter involved bad language, jokily calling each other the 'C' word. If somebody calls me rude names and makes rude gestures ... it means our banter is at that level," he reportedly wrote.
"In fact, a BBC producer who saw a video of us calling each other the 'C' word asked Amanda: 'Are you OK with that?' Amanda replied: 'Yeah, of course. I started it.'"
Pernice claimed it had become "increasingly difficult" to read "all the bile that was flowing in my direction", before paying tribute to his then-girlfriend, Molly Brown, for standing firmly beside him.
"She could see that I was spiralling and she was there to talk to me when I was down," he added. "There were certainly times I would have killed myself if Molly hadn't been there.
"But my first dance teacher used to say, 'Never give up', and that mantra has stuck with me throughout my life. Even when I reached the brink of despair, that little voice told me not to give in."
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