Trewley-Precious, a star of Channel 4's Secret Lives of Gypsy Wives, broke down in tears as she admitted she felt like a "failure" after leaving her marriage. In the latest episode, aired on August 10, she opened up about the pressure she faced within her Traveller culture to stay married.
Married at 19, left at 22
The reality star revealed she married at just 19 and left her husband three years later. She said: "I got married to him when I was 19 and then I left him when I was 22. I got out of there, it just wasn't good, it wasn't the nicest thing."
Despite leaving a relationship she described as not good for her, Trewley struggled emotionally. "I felt a lot of shame when I left him, just because it felt like I had failed," she said.
Cultural expectations and shame
In some Traveller communities, traditional expectations emphasize women marrying young and settling down. Trewley's friend pointed out that "realistically" she should probably have been married with three children by now.
Reflecting on her marriage, Trewley became emotional: "To think I was in such a bad place being in that marriage for so long. I should have left that two years prior to everything and I didn't because it was a shame."
Learning self-worth
The experience changed how she views relationships and herself. "It taught me that the only thing we had in common at that time is that we both didn't love me and now I do," she said. "I'd never be in something like that ever, ever, ever, ever again."
Trewley also discussed the expectations she grew up with about standing by a husband "through thick and thin." She said: "I've seen a lot of women survive their marriages, survive this and that but I'm not doing that. I've just been raised that you stand by a man through thick and thin but now that I'm older, I've also realised you show a man that you'll go through anything with him, they'll put you through everything."
Emotional moment with friend
Her comments brought up painful memories, and she questioned how her mum had endured so much. "How could my mum put up with so much, do so much, I can't," she said through tears. "In my head, I just couldn't do what my mum did. So I failed."
Her friend reassured her: "No you haven't failed. You know your worth." Trewley admitted learning her worth took time: "I didn't for a long time but it took me ages to get it back."
She now has clear expectations for future relationships: "The next person I will be with, they will tick, tick, tick."
You can catch up on Secret Lives of Gypsy Wives on Channel 4.
