Daily Star's agony aunt Jane O'Gorman is available every day to help readers with their problems, offering straight-talking advice on issues ranging from bedroom confessions to self-confidence and drug use. She has assisted thousands of readers over the years and continues to do so.
Readers seeking help can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP, or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Jane cannot respond to individual letters, and not all problems will be published.
Feeling Inadequate Next to Free-Spirited Neighbours
A reader wrote that their next-door neighbours are ravers who throw raucous parties and sunbathe nude. Although welcoming, the neighbours make the reader feel inadequate, as they believe they are looked down on for being boring and beige. The wild wife has joked about the reader benefiting from a 'good seeing to'.
Jane advises staying true to oneself and not allowing anyone to cause embarrassment or feelings of inferiority. She suggests calmly explaining that while happy to have fun and be friends, the reader has their own set of morals and guidelines. The neighbours should respect that, and there is no obligation to keep up with them.
Mum's Health Anxiety Draining Family
Another reader described their mum, under 50, who constantly complains about her health and is convinced she is about to die. She fears everything from heart attacks to cancer, and refuses a holiday abroad. The reader visits most days but leaves feeling upset and depressed, as her parting words often include "This'll be the last you see of me". She has been told there is nothing wrong with her, and the rest of the family are bored and exasperated.
Jane suggests trying to get the mum out more, such as going for walks or having tea and a chat, encouraging her to take deep breaths and appreciate her blessings. If that is not an option, a GP referral for therapy regarding her anxiety could help. Family should work together to distract her and make her days richer, while also prioritising their own mental health.
Girlfriend's Explosive Temper
A third reader wrote about their girlfriend being wildly unpredictable, going from funny and relaxed to screaming her head off in seconds. Anything can set her off, from a rude waiter to a coughing diner. In a bar, a girl accidentally brushed past, causing the girlfriend's drink to wobble without spilling, yet she went ballistic, terrifying the victim.
Jane describes the girlfriend as a troubled individual who can't control herself, suggesting anger management classes as a possible solution. The reader should level with her and tell her something must change. If she is all about control, the reader must consider their own emotional and physical wellbeing, and possibly edit this drama queen out of their life.
