Jane O'Gorman, the Daily Star's agony aunt, offers straight-talking advice to readers facing a range of personal dilemmas, from online dating deception to workplace romance fallout.
Duped by a Catfish
A man writes that he is deeply disappointed in his new girlfriend, who recently moved in with him. He says she looks nothing like the photo she sent him, and they have nothing in common. They met online a year ago, and after much begging, she sent a headshot that he found gorgeous. He sent her money for her fare, but now she is in his bed, and he believes she is not the person in the photo, appearing much older and not physically fit.
Her sister has also turned up and is living with them. The pair constantly ask for money and pressure him about a wedding. He fears he has been duped, and sex is unsatisfactory. When he refused to give £750 for their grandma's operation, they turned on him with insults, and they have not had sex since. He feels trapped and ashamed.
Jane advises him to tell her to leave, stating that if she is not someone he likes or respects, she must go. She suggests he make it clear he won't be intimidated and may involve the police. She suspects the girlfriend deliberately sent a glamorous picture to hook him, and he should stand his ground. She notes that giving them money for their fare back home might be worth the investment and encourages him to learn from the experience.
Ignored by a Partner
Another reader asks if her partner has a secret life because he never replies to texts or answers calls once he leaves her flat. She has accused him of having other women, but he says she is crazy. She wonders what to do in an emergency.
Jane responds by asking if she can really be bothered with this situation, suggesting that life is too short to wait for someone else to contact her. She advises cultivating new friends and making her own plans, and to see if her partner fits in. If he can't be bothered to answer messages, she may accept that she is low on his priorities. If he does have another woman, Jane says to let him go.
Never Enough
A mother-in-law complains that her daughter-in-law constantly moans about her tough life, despite having two foreign holidays a year. She babysits and gives cash, but it's never enough. She is frightened to speak out in case she is stopped from seeing her grandchildren.
Jane advises her to hold her tongue, as rowing could make her son take his wife's side. She suggests letting the daughter-in-law rant and turning a deaf ear, focusing on giving the grandchildren love and support. She notes that some people will never be happy as long as they've got a nose on their face.
Horrible Sex at Work
A reader regrets dating a co-worker, who forgot his phone and made her pay for dinner and a cab. They had horrible sex, and the next day he tried to pay her back with a tenner on top, making her feel like a hooker. She exploded, and now he is telling everyone she is terrible in bed.
Jane says work-based relationships can end up a mess and that no one has the right to bad-mouth her. She suggests having a quiet word with the colleague or talking to a boss or HR about being moved to another desk or department because she is being upset and distracted.
