Jules Von Hep has always dreamed of having a baby, but as a gay man, he knew the path would be long and expensive. Since 2020, he and his partner Mark Beverlo have been trying to become parents through surrogacy, facing mounting costs and emotional hurdles in the UK before turning to Mexico.
Costly UK Attempts
The couple began their journey by signing up with an IVF clinic, purchasing donor eggs, and undergoing rigorous sperm testing. They quickly encountered high fees: £1,000 for single advisory meetings and £13,000 for a round of embryo creation, including a failed attempt. After joining a surrogacy agency, they faced a two-to-three-year waiting list for UK-based surrogates. Von Hep also explored unregulated Facebook groups but found the idea of pitching their lives to potential surrogates unbearable.
Eventually, the agency matched them with a woman, and embryo transfers began at £5,000 each. When these failed, they tried home insemination, or "turkey basting," which also did not work. Frustrated, they abandoned surrogacy in the UK.
Turning to Mexico
Ukraine, a popular destination, was closed due to war, and the US was too expensive at about £250,000. Canada and Mexico emerged as options. Mexico legalized surrogacy for same-sex parents in 2021, and the couple found costs around £60,000–£90,000—similar to the UK but with a commercial model. Von Hep noted the transparency: "The difference doing it commercially is unbelievable. The knowledge that the egg donors are being paid, that everyone is—there’s nothing woolly about the situation."
The cost includes medical bills, expenses, and a fee for the surrogate, typically around MXN$388,000 (£16,914) according to their agency, My Surrogacy Journey Mexico City (MSJMX). Their surrogate, who has been a surrogate before, is using the payment to build a business. Von Hep appreciated her openness: "She said: ‘Yeah, I’m trying to build my business, and this is a great way of earning extra money.’"
Ethical Concerns and Agency Support
Mexico has a patchwork of surrogacy regulations, with two states banning it and three having laws. Researchers worry that poor women could "rent their wombs as a survival strategy," and there are reports of coercion. MSJMX states it operates only in "surrogacy-friendly states" like Mexico City and works with human rights specialists and lawyers to ensure ethical and legal protection. The agency is UK-based and queer-founded, which Von Hep found supportive.
Next Steps and Future Hopes
The couple has shipped their sperm to Mexico, chosen a new egg donor, and fertilized embryos. They await the transfer. After the baby is born, they will move to Mexico for three to six months to arrange a passport, then apply for a parental order in UK family courts. This is their last attempt at biological parenthood, but Von Hep feels tentatively excited. He has recommended Mexican surrogacy to others.
Despite his frustrations with the UK system, Von Hep is grateful to surrogates: "Anyone who is willing to be a surrogate is like an angel on earth." He hopes sharing his story will challenge taboos and make it easier for future gay parents. "The more same-sex relationships are accepted, the more gay men will want to have a family," he said.
