Kate Lawler, 46, has revealed she never wanted to be a mother until a sudden change of heart on her 40th birthday. The former Big Brother winner, who welcomed daughter Noa in February 2021 with husband Martin Bojtos, 43, now describes herself as a “proud mum of one” while still advocating for a child-free life.
A Change of Heart at 40
Lawler, who once told her partner, “It’s not for me, babes, but I’d happily get another dog,” says she woke up on her 40th birthday feeling ready for something different. After seven years of her husband campaigning for a child, she told him over dinner, “Okay, I think I’m finally ready.”
She admits she “didn’t have that maternal instinct” or “that urge to procreate” until then, but she was fortunate to get pregnant quickly and had a lovely pregnancy and birth. Despite that positive experience, she is adamant she doesn’t want more children, joking, “Yes, we stopped at perfection.”
Defending Her Choice
Lawler, who won series three of Big Brother in 2002 at age 22, says she receives unwelcome comments about having just one child, including accusations of selfishness and suggestions that Noa needs a sibling. She responds, “But there’s no guarantee she’d get on with her brother or sister. And what if I can’t afford to have another child?”
She admits to feeling mum guilt, especially when Noa pretends she has siblings, but says she and her husband concluded it’s “much better to give Noa a happy and healthy Mum than a sibling.”
Postnatal Depression and Recovery
Lawler’s first year of motherhood was difficult, as she suffered from postnatal depression, a period she describes as “apocalyptic.” She accepted help, was given antidepressants for eight months, and used a night nanny three nights a week. In 2022, she wrote a book, Maybe Baby: On The Mother Side, which became a Sunday Times bestseller.
She says motherhood is “the hardest job in the world” but insists, “There was never a moment when I didn’t love Noa.”
Relationship and Health Struggles
Lawler admits that having a child changed her relationship with Boj, and the first year “nearly broke us.” The couple now attends couples’ therapy regularly, even during a recent holiday via Zoom. She also shares her struggles with perimenopause and anxiety, taking HRT and low-dose anti-anxiety medication.
Looking ahead, Lawler says she would love to do Strictly Come Dancing, following her close friend Alison Hammond, and is working on a new business venture, Soundlings, which creates phonics resources for children. She is dedicated to promoting reading and screen-free fun for kids.
