Six writers, including Olivia Petter, Derek Owusu, Annie Lord, and Poorna Bell, reflect on past misdeeds and the apologies they wish they had made. Their stories range from making a teacher's life hell to doubting a foster mother's motives.
Olivia Petter: Tormenting a Teacher
Olivia Petter admits to being an "emotional terrorist" in year 6, targeting her teacher, Ms Hill, with pranks like whoopee cushions, spiders, and hiding in cupboards. She now feels shame and guilt, especially as an adult with teacher friends, and offers an explanation: she was being bullied and struggling with issues at home, including her parents' divorce and insomnia.
Derek Owusu: Doubting a Foster Mother
Derek Owusu writes to his foster mother, questioning why she fostered him and other black children, and speculating about her motives. Over time, he realized she was not a "white saviour" but an imperfect person who cared for them, even setting up a secret account for him. He apologizes for his doubt and failure to see her kindness.
William Rayfet Hunter: Deceiving a Girlfriend
William Rayfet Hunter apologizes to a woman he dated at university while hiding his sexuality. He admits he fell for her to deceive himself, not to deceive her, and regrets the hurt caused. He now understands that becoming yourself matters how you do it and who gets caught in the machinery.
Poorna Bell: A Drunken Diatribe
Poorna Bell recalls a press awards ceremony where, under the influence of alcohol, she made nasty remarks about a woman who was standing right behind her. She wishes she could apologize, explaining that she was in an unhappy place and alcohol made her a nastier version of herself.
Annie Lord: Dumping a Boyfriend
Annie Lord describes dumping a boyfriend in year 8 after a comment from a popular girl confirmed her fears that something was wrong with him because he liked her. Through therapy, she realized her own feelings of rottenness and hopes her actions didn't scar him.
Nikesh Shukla: Apologising to His Kids
Nikesh Shukla apologizes to his children for shouting at them while working, admitting his anger was often due to his own stress or tiredness, not their behaviour. He reflects on his own upbringing and tries to apologize when he realizes his telling off was misplaced.
