Comedian and writer Rebecca Shaw has expressed frustration over the ongoing expectation that women who marry men should change their surname to their husband's, following news that Margot Robbie has changed her surname to that of her husband, Tom Ackerley, after a decade of marriage.
A default decision with no discussion
Shaw, writing in a personal opinion piece, said her tolerance was tested when it was revealed that Robbie had changed her name. She noted that Robbie will remain Margot Robbie in her public life, and the reasons behind the change are unknown, yet it has caused a stir.
Shaw acknowledged that Robbie is not alone in this practice, estimating that in the overwhelming majority of straight marriages, the woman changes her name to the man's, though she admitted statistics are hard to pin down. She observed this in every part of her social life, from friends back home who married directly out of high school to her highly educated urban feminist friends.
Reasons and the real problem
Shaw clarified that she does not flip a table every time a woman changes her name, but she does mind when it is the default decision with no discussion. She listed legitimate reasons a woman might choose to change her name, such as hating her dad, feeling no attachment to her name, or considering it a nice thing to do if her husband has a meaningful attachment to his.
Her issue, she said, is not with women taking their man's surname, but when there is no choosing, when it is a foregone conclusion. She referenced a colleague whose future husband said it was a dealbreaker if she didn't take his name, calling that not a reason but something that should have been the dealbreaker itself.
A cooler solution
Shaw also expressed irritation about which surname a baby gets, questioning why giving the man's name is still the default when women carry and birth the babies and are still far more likely to do the lion's share of childcare.
Her proposed solution involves no gender politics: she suggests throwing tradition out the window and making the decision based on which surname is cooler, sounds better, or offers more success. In an ideal world, she imagines a courtroom setting where each couple comes in and she sits high above them like Judge Judy, ready to bang her gavel, declaring, for example, that Mr Brown becomes Mr Beaumont, or Mrs Jones becomes Mrs Wilder. She added that no longer would awesome surnames be swallowed by the crap oesophagus of patriarchy, and it would be considered cool and wise for a man to take his wife's last name.
Shaw concluded by addressing Margot Robbie's husband directly, saying, "Sorry, Mr Ackerley, which sounds a bit like a cat throwing up – you're now Mr Robbie."
